An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In recent years, there
is
a growing recognition of Wrong verb form
has been
popularity
of going for having cosmetic Add an article
the popularity
surgery
aim
to enhance how they look. From my standpoint, I wholly believe that it is negatively contributing to the development. Verb problem
apply
This
essay will expound upon this
by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.
There are numerous causes, but the most visible thing is the thought of changing life. Specifically, people
who possess the
less attractive Correct article usage
a
appearance
are often unappreciated or bullied in work or study. Thus
, they tend to think that changing the
Change the word
their
appearance
could support them to live in a complex society more easily. In the case of autistic people
is relevant here where
most of them Correct word choice
that
got
depressed very often because of Wrong verb form
get
the
Change the word
their
appearance
, so that kind of people
prefer to have cosmetic surgery
.
Furthermore
, it is undeniable that appearance
is a
decisive importance in almost Correct your spelling
of
aspects
. In fact, excel in work is not enough, it should be a combination of two elements, visual and how they work. Correct determiner usage
all aspects
Therefore
, it is obvious that people
who have the
better visual could access Correct article usage
apply
to
lucrative career opportunities. Change preposition
apply
In
the other hand, it can compromise on those who Change preposition
On
unaffordable
to have cosmetic Add a missing verb
are unaffordable
surgery
, meaning that it would occur
Verb problem
cause
a
discrimination between the Remove the article
apply
wealth
and the poor.
In conclusion, Replace the word
wealthy
although
cosmetic surgery
has its own significant role in development. However
, I think it is absolutely a negative development, people
should look on
others' Change preposition
at
effort
which is invested, not only others' Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
appearance
due to
easily leading to the
discrimination between two layers of society. Correct article usage
apply
People
should be treated equally.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay provides several relevant points, it's essential to support them with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, referencing studies or statistics can add weight to your argument. Furthermore, giving real-life examples that illustrate your points clearly can help solidify your stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your points are logically structured, guiding the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. It might be useful to use linking words and phrases more effectively to create a seamless flow. Additionally, consider developing each paragraph more fully, ensuring each point is well-developed and transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively outline and summarize the essay's main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both why people choose cosmetic surgery and whether this trend is positive or negative. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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