Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Businesses
which are concentrated in one
plece
have been severely Correct your spelling
place
impact
traffic and housing Change the verb form
impacting
impacted
problem
in the Fix the agreement mistake
problems
city
. Every year, more and more people
are coming to town to find jobs, and it becomes overcrowded. One
of the solution
from Change to a plural noun
solutions
government
is for Add an article
the government
business
owner to considerate
rural Replace the word
consider
area
as the location for their company. Even though Fix the agreement mistake
areas
this
might sounds
complicated to do, I think Change the verb form
sound
this
solution has more positive impacts than the negative one
.
Correct pronoun usage
ones
To begin
with, businesses
in unpopulated areas can provide equal opportunities for residents to obtain employment. Until now, people
from villages have believed that higher-paying jobs are only available in cities. That is
why they flock to the city
, without adequate preparation such
as where they will live and how they will manage transportation. If businesses
are located in quieter towns, not only will people
no longer need to go to the city
to have a better life, but economic equality can also
be achieved. Housing and traffic problems can be avoided because fewer people
will move to the city
and will instead
choose to work in businesses
closer to their homes.
In
the other hand, some issues might Change preposition
On
also
may
arise from the relocation of Remove a modal verb
apply
businesses
, such
as environmental issues due to
the clearing of new land and waste. Moreoever
, Correct your spelling
Moreover
people
will also
need to addapt
Correct your spelling
adapt
in
Change preposition
to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
place
, both from the supplier side and the demand side, which Fix the agreement mistake
places
are
the local Change the verb form
is
residence
. Replace the word
residents
This
is why government
needs to be strict about the policy that will be applied Add an article
the government
for
Change preposition
to
business
owner
. They have to make Fix the agreement mistake
owners
rule
for them to be wise enough to run their Fix the agreement mistake
rules
business
and not overdo using the natural resouch
that can harm the environment.
Correct your spelling
resource
resources
To sum up
, This
problem requires more research because of its complexity. However
, it is not wrong to implement one
of the government
's solutions, which is to distribute business
locations more evenly so that all residents can have the same opportunities as people
in the city
. It would be even better if the government
took part in implementing this
policy by creating policies that benefit both parties, namely business
owners and rural areas, as well as
for the sustainability of the environment.Submitted by rizkaputri.arc on
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grammar
While the essay is well-structured, try to avoid small inaccuracies (e.g., 'One of the solution' should be 'One of the solutions'). Ensure that grammatical details are accurate for a higher score.
task
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed with more specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and clear.
coherence
In some parts of the essay, transition words could be used to improve the flow between paragraphs and sections. Also, avoid repetition of ideas, such as the economic equality argument, which is mentioned multiple times.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a coherent argument.
content
The ideas are quite relevant and address the prompt effectively. The author has considered both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a well-rounded perspective.
language
The language used is mostly clear and easy to understand, which helps convey the message effectively to the reader.