Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Businesses
which are concentrated in
one
plece
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place
have been severely
impact
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impacting
impacted
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traffic and housing
problem
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problems
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in the
city
. Every year, more and more
people
are coming to town to find jobs, and it becomes overcrowded.
One
of the
solution
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solutions
show examples
from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is for
business
owner to
considerate
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consider
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rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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as the location for their company. Even though
this
might
sounds
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sound
show examples
complicated to do, I think
this
solution has more positive impacts than the negative
one
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ones
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.
To begin
with,
businesses
in unpopulated areas can provide equal opportunities for residents to obtain employment. Until now,
people
from villages have believed that higher-paying jobs are only available in cities.
That is
why they flock to the
city
, without adequate preparation
such
as where they will live and how they will manage transportation. If
businesses
are located in quieter towns, not only will
people
no longer need to go to the
city
to have a better life, but economic equality can
also
be achieved. Housing and traffic problems can be avoided because fewer
people
will move to the
city
and will
instead
choose to work in
businesses
closer to their homes.
In
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On
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the other hand, some issues might
also
may
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apply
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arise from the relocation of
businesses
,
such
as environmental issues
due to
the clearing of new land and waste.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
people
will
also
need to
addapt
Correct your spelling
adapt
in
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to
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new
Add an article
a new
the new
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place
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places
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, both from the supplier side and the demand side, which
are
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is
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the local
residence
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residents
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.
This
is why
government
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the government
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needs to be strict about the policy that will be applied
for
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to
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business
owner
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owners
show examples
. They have to make
rule
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rules
show examples
for them to be wise enough to run their
business
and not overdo using the natural
resouch
Correct your spelling
resource
resources
that can harm the environment.
To sum up
,
This
problem requires more research because of its complexity.
However
, it is not wrong to implement
one
of the
government
's solutions, which is to distribute
business
locations more evenly so that all residents can have the same opportunities as
people
in the
city
. It would be even better if the
government
took part in implementing
this
policy by creating policies that benefit both parties, namely
business
owners and rural areas,
as well as
for the sustainability of the environment.
Submitted by rizkaputri.arc on

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grammar
While the essay is well-structured, try to avoid small inaccuracies (e.g., 'One of the solution' should be 'One of the solutions'). Ensure that grammatical details are accurate for a higher score.
task
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed with more specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and clear.
coherence
In some parts of the essay, transition words could be used to improve the flow between paragraphs and sections. Also, avoid repetition of ideas, such as the economic equality argument, which is mentioned multiple times.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a coherent argument.
content
The ideas are quite relevant and address the prompt effectively. The author has considered both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a well-rounded perspective.
language
The language used is mostly clear and easy to understand, which helps convey the message effectively to the reader.
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