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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two tables below show statistics of workers of foreign and US birth in the United States last year. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two tables below show statistics of workers of foreign and US birth in the United States last year. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #tables #show #statistics #workers #birth #states #year #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The tables
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the statistics of the United
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
workforce
Use synonyms
 for both U.S. nationals and foreign
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
. In the following paragraphs , I will elaborate on the specific data to analyse the statistics .
Overall
Linking Words
, U.S. citizens have a higher
workforce
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages , which indicates the result of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
higher unemployment rates .
Fisrtly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, when analysing the data ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
yhe
Correct your spelling
the
 foreign birth
workers
Use synonyms
 for both females and males have a higher employment rate
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
overall
Linking Words
workforce
Use synonyms
 . When
further
Linking Words
 examining the number of employments for different age categories for foreign birth
workers
Use synonyms
 ,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 for men
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher than the women .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , in terms of the US birth
workers
Use synonyms
 have a
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 higher
workforce
Use synonyms
 . We can see that the rate of unemployment is
consistantly
Correct your spelling
consistently
constantly
 decreasing as the
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 are aging.
Submitted by nouf.alkhalaifi2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workforce, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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