While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Agree or disagree?
There are some who believe that a certain group of students now choose to engage in
prestigious
college in order to carry out studying academically, but others prefer participating in vocational practising Add an article
a prestigious
since
the lack of highly qualified machiners like electronic and water pipes fixers. Change preposition
of
This
writer totally disagrees with this
opinion because people who pursue a good education can help more to develop and utilize the
profound Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
in normal life.
The primary reason is that students who graduate from prestigious universities definitely possess a major of knowledge
which can apply to manufacturing much more modern machines. So of course, those can help residents’ life conditions are better and less challenging because most of the housework on a daily basis is replaced by artificial intelligence techniques and robots, so humans now can spend more time sharpening useful skills and enjoying free time. Besides
, That’s not to mention
, that some who have a good command of their certain field is
more easily Unnecessary verb
apply
to
impart Fix the infinitive
apply
knowledge
to others in order that more and more people acquire the knowledge
and apply it in their life.
Also
, there is a fact that tons of experienced workers who are facing up to unemployment are increasing. Although
they have extensive experience and good skills, they have to deal with less recruitment. Additionally
, manual work is usually tiring and repetitive, workers have to deal with challenging work and something hazardous. However
, this
work rarely earns much money in spite of tiredness and danger, so it is hard to gain success in this
field.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly structure your introduction and conclusion. Your essay would benefit from a more defined ending that summarizes your key points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balance between discussing the benefits of both academic and vocational training to provide a more well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar issues and sentence structure to improve clarity. This will make your ideas easier to understand.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your essay delves into the long-term advantages of higher education effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with reasonable arguments, particularly regarding the application of knowledge from prestigious universities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.