In recent years a large number of highly professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer businesses are leaving their countries for developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

#years #professionals #doctors #engineers #businesses #countries #jobs

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years, we witnessed a significant immigration from developing countries to developed countries, in my point of view,

this

Linking Words

is because of the low

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

that

Linking Words

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

provided and the standard of living in developing areas. First of all, in order to have a successful job or business career you should work in a place that provides you with a variety of job

opportunities

Use synonyms

and improved economic systems,

However

Linking Words

, some places in the world

doesn't

Change the verb form

don't

show examples

have those

opportunities

Use synonyms

and wealth in it, which makes a large number of people to immigrate,

this

Linking Words

results in a decrease in the number of efficient workers in the country, which makes it worse.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, despite the positive of emigrating to a

well developed

Add a hyphen

well-developed

show examples

place, if all people move to the same place to have a better life care and

opportunities

Use synonyms

, the area that pupils moved to will be

over populated

Correct your spelling

overpopulated

show examples

,which

this

Linking Words

makes

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

the city more crowded and will turn it to a developing country rather than developed, in my point of view, governments should collaborate and share the

opportunities

Use synonyms

between them and give financial support to developing countries to recover the economy. In conclusion, we should cooperate and assist each other with financial

soppurt

Correct your spelling

support

to avoid overpopulated areas.

Submitted by yazanalt523 on Mon Jun 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Work on expanding your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure grammar and punctuation are correct to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to raise the sophistication of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Divide your essay into clear paragraphs: one for introduction, one for each main point, and one for the conclusion.

task achievement

You have addressed the task by discussing the causes, potential problems, and solutions related to professionals leaving developing countries.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides an introduction and a conclusion, giving it a complete structure.

coherence cohesion

Your writing reflects a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

205 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Distance learning has grown and became a new phenomenon in universities and colleges.
4.5
band
Children should go school or be taught at home. Discuss both aspects and give your opinion.
With the recent pandemic of Covid19, children have been confronted to two modes of learning during their education. The first one is the most classical way of being taught, which is going to school. Whereas, the second is less common and was previously reserved to the elites: school but at home. Is the the former really more efficient than the latter ?
<4
band
The process gives information about how carbonated water is made.
The flow chart illustrates the process which carbonated drinks are made in either a bottle or a can.
6
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Some would say that consumers are loaded by a growing number of commercials from different companies, which produce the same products and services. This essay totally agrees with that statement because advertisers persuade people to buy products and services by emphasizing them as a status symbol and playing on inner fears and insecurities. To avoid being influenced by advertising, focus on needs and mindfulness should be considered.
8
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have a little effect on public health, and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A problem of modern societies is the declining level of heath in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend. One possible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more active lifestyle.

In recent years a large number of highly professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer businesses are leaving their countries for developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

Fully explain your ideas

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Children should go school or be taught at home. Discuss both aspects and give your opinion.

The process gives information about how carbonated water is made.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have a little effect on public health, and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.