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Many goods including what we use on daily basis produced by other countries need to be transported from a long distance.To what extent Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages

#goods #basis #countries #distance
Our daily purchases that are mainly produced by foreign countries need to be supplied from a long distance.
Although
this
 tendency has certain drawbacks, I believe that
advantages
Correct pronoun usage
its advantages
show examples
 surpass its disadvantages. On the one hand, transporting goods from abroad requires sophisticated vehicles which can carry all
products
 without being ruined or spoiled. Obviously,
this
 process increases the cost of shipped goods
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them unaffordable to ordinary citizens.
Therefore
, there is a chance that those
products
 will be less attractive to buyers and lead importers to loss.
In addition
, it is highly probable that there are certain
products
 that can be easily damaged before even reaching the final destination regardless of how advanced the transport means are.
This
 can deter people from acquiring
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
products
 they desire and lead them to common dissatisfaction.
Conversly
Correct your spelling
Conversely
,
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 cost of goods imported from overseas can act as a great incentive for local suppliers to produce the
substitudes
Correct your spelling
substitutes
 of unavailable foreign
products
.
This
 can undoubtedly increase the level of production within the country which might contribute to
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
 development of the economy.
Furthermore
,
improved
Add an article
an improved
the improved
show examples
 economic system
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full of businesses that are crucial for consumers' well-being,
also
 means more job opportunities for citizens and
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 unemployed people. Thanks to
this
 tendency, countries might reform their strategies
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
take initiatives to be self-supplied, and devise new methods and solutions to raise
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
 and effectiveness of the production processes.
To conclude
, I have to admit that despite possessing obvious disadvantages, I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh the drawbacks since they pave the way for
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 sustainable and fully developed economy.
Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt and covers both advantages and disadvantages effectively. To enhance the answer, aim to incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are coherent and logically structured, a few transition phrases can improve the flow between paragraphs. Consider using words like 'moreover' or 'furthermore' to link your points smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively frame the essay.
supported main points
The arguments presented are logical and support the main thesis well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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