Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to to get a good job. On the other hand, others people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important . Discuss both sides and give your opinio
Some milestones are in
the
human life. One of these is a Correct article usage
apply
university
education
. Many people
desire to get a good job and become very successful persons, but methods vary. One of the key questions is value
of a Add an article
the value
university
education
for creating the
great career. Some Correct article usage
a
people
believe that it is the best way to success, others
believe that getting experience and developing soft skills are more important. We will discuss both ways to success and I will speak my opinion Correct word choice
while others
at the end
of this
essay.
The first point of this
discussion is jobs which require Correct article usage
a high-level
high-level
of Correct your spelling
high level
education
. Most respectable proffesions
, Correct your spelling
professionals
such
as scientists, engineers, programmers, and doctors, require
to graduate from Wrong verb form
are required
university
sometimes to get a master's degree thus
you will have become the qualified expect of your domain by the end of the education
process. It is the most reliable way to get a good occupation. Many famous people
have gone this
way, for example
, Robert Oppenheimer is creator
of Add an article
the creator
nuclear
weapon, John Nash is Add an article
a nuclear
Nobel
Prize winner in Economics, and Alan Turing is Correct article usage
the Nobel
creator
of the first mechanical computer.
The second point is domains Add an article
the creator
which
soft skills mean more significant value than Change preposition
in which
education
namely management, business, and politics. Some education
is very
pleasant bonus, especially for managers, but Add an article
a very
doesn't
Verb problem
it isn't
mandatory
condition. Correct article usage
a mandatory
Entrepreneur
is a man who creates an idea Change the article
An entrepreneur
of
Change preposition
for
future
company and Correct article usage
a future
take
over Change the verb form
takes
risks
of his business. Correct article usage
the risks
Politician
is a man who presents the will of the Change the article
A politician
people
. Overall
they need getting
Change the verb form
to get
the
experience Correct article usage
apply
of
their domain and Change preposition
in
the
vivid charisma Correct article usage
apply
instead
of academic knowledgements
. Correct your spelling
knowledge
People
who has
broken off Change the verb form
have
Change preposition
from the
the
Change preposition
from the
university
and become Correct article usage
apply
a
great Correct article usage
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
people
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
also
exist. For instance
, Bill Gates is founder
of "Microsoft" and Steve Correct article usage
the founder
Jobes
is Correct your spelling
Jobs
founder
of "Apple".
In conclusion, I believe that a Correct article usage
the founder
university
education
will useful
for everybody. Add a missing verb
be useful
Entrepreneours
can realize elaborate technologies, politicians can make Correct your spelling
Entrepreneurs
more wise
decisions. And Correct word choice
wiser
also
knowledge of maths develops the brain and would be helpfully
for everybody.Change the word
helpful
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to proofread your essay to avoid small errors, such as typographical errors and misspellings (e.g., 'proffesions' instead of 'professions', 'expect' instead of 'expert', 'Jobes' instead of 'Jobs').
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some points, especially regarding soft skills, need elaboration and more clear articulation. Provide more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your essay more fluent and comprehensible. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one. This will increase the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have made relevant points and provided examples to illustrate your arguments, which is good for supporting your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.