The government should encourage industries and businesses to move out of big cities and into regional areas. To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been observed that industries and companies
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get awayastratlorfrom large cities and into limited regions. Despite the numerous arguments surrounding
this
topic,my viewpoint on
this
issue is that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
of
this
matter surpass its possible drawbacks. On the one hand,
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
can push those living in the big states whose companies become more professional. At the same time,
this
can develop the economy quickly.
For example
, first economic development can create more employment opportunities and enhance the production or availability of goods.
Secondly
, it can
also
boost people's income and stimulate the demand for stocks. Under
such
a virtuous cycle, people's living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
will improve, and the incidence of social problems will be reduced.
Furthermore
, it exposes them to different opinions and experiences with short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
between industries, which stimulates them to learn new things and broaden their horizon. Meanwhile, in
such
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
environment, they may
also
be motivated to challenge existing values and norms, and even generate innovations and achievements, and
also
can
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
citizens
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
a pure living atmosphere.
On the other hand
, it cannot be ignored that there are some disadvantages associated with
this
practice.
For instance
, there is a drawback
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
that paying for construction or advertisements about the government
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
the business into regional districts,
may
Correct pronoun usage
which may
show examples
exert unexpected financial pressure upon employers or employees, especially those in developing regions, where the income level and living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
relative
Change the word
relatively
show examples
low.
This
may cause them to suffer from financial stress and hardship, which could affect their quality of life and well-being. Fortunately, there are some measures we can take to improve
this
alarming situation. One possible solution to
this
problem is to improve the government's regulations of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
company management, especially the supervision of worker
welfares
Fix the agreement mistake
welfare
show examples
and boss requirements. Impose higher penalties on enterprises that violate the regulations on the
governments'
Correct your spelling
government's
show examples
measures, and compel them to donate. In summary, I believe that the benefits of
this
matter largely surpass its possible drawbacks, as it possesses remarkable merits and demerits are manageable.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve the clarity and accuracy of your ideas by using appropriate vocabulary and grammar. Be more specific when giving examples and avoid vague statements.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay better by ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next. Improve transitions between ideas for smoother readability.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps address the topic comprehensively.
task achievement
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mostly relevant and supported, showing a good understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: