In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, some
people
prefer to live in the cities. Many people
believe that they could get a lot of opportunities such
as job
Add an article
a job
at
the central area. I think that Change preposition
in
this
is a negative development because everyone in the country should get the same opportunities wherever they live.
First of all, the main reason the population choose to move to the town is the limited access that you can get at
the villages compared to the metropolitan area. In the cities, you could find Change preposition
to
the
employment more easily, create new potential businesses, and study at the best schools in the country. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, the differences of
technology Change preposition
in
is
Change the verb form
are
also
the
significant.
Change the article
apply
This
condition is not ideal for the communities because it will make the city more crowded. The government should think of strategic initiatives to develop small cities in every aspects
. They could help give incentives to Change to a singular noun
aspect
people
who want to run a
small Correct article usage
apply
business
, so Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
it
can create new workplaces. The development of technology in the countryside, Correct pronoun usage
they
such
as Correct article usage
the internet
internet
, will Correct article usage
the internet
also
boost Correct article usage
apply
the
economic growth. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, the public doesn't have to move to the downtown.
In conclusion, I believe that the movement of some people
from the villages to downtown is a bad thing. The public obligation should try to execute some ideas to keep the balance of it.Submitted by vito.naufal on
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task achievement
While the essay's main ideas are clear, there should be a more detailed development of arguments with specific examples or data to support the points made. For example, mentioning specific countries experiencing rural-urban migration or actual government initiatives would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Better transitions between paragraphs could improve the flow of the essay. For example, the second paragraph jumps to ideas without smooth transitions from the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the argument well.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with a clear thesis statement followed by supporting points.
task achievement
The response addresses the task well, providing arguments both against and for the movement from rural areas to cities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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