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Band 3.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Nowadays, some
people
 prefer to live in the cities. Many
people
 believe that they could get a lot of opportunities
such
 as
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
at
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in
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 the central area. I think that
this
 is a negative development because everyone in the country should get the same opportunities wherever they live. First of all, the main reason the population choose to move to the town is the limited access that you can get
at
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to
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 the villages compared to the metropolitan area. In the cities, you could find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employment more easily, create new potential businesses, and study at the best schools in the country.
Additionally
, the differences
of
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in
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 technology
is
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are
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also
the
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apply
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significant.
This
 condition is not ideal for the communities because it will make the city more crowded. The government should think of strategic initiatives to develop small cities in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
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. They could help give incentives to
people
 who want to run
a
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apply
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small
business
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businesses
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, so
it
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they
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 can create new workplaces. The development of technology in the countryside,
such
 as
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the internet
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internet
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the internet
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, will
also
 boost
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apply
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the
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apply
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economic growth.
Therefore
, the public doesn't have to move to the downtown. In conclusion, I believe that the movement of some
people
 from the villages to downtown is a bad thing. The public obligation should try to execute some ideas to keep the balance of it.
Submitted by vito.naufal on

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task achievement
While the essay's main ideas are clear, there should be a more detailed development of arguments with specific examples or data to support the points made. For example, mentioning specific countries experiencing rural-urban migration or actual government initiatives would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Better transitions between paragraphs could improve the flow of the essay. For example, the second paragraph jumps to ideas without smooth transitions from the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the argument well.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with a clear thesis statement followed by supporting points.
task achievement
The response addresses the task well, providing arguments both against and for the movement from rural areas to cities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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