IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The bar chart shows the data of five portions of fruit and vegetables eaten by children, males and females per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008.

The bar chart shows the data of five portions of fruit and vegetables eaten by children, males and females per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates how males, females, and infants ingest a variety of products
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as fruit and vegetables, in a frequency of five times daily during 8 years. The values are given in percentages and displayed in a bar diagram.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the trend in all years is the same, kids ingest in lower proportions than adults, among adults the men consume less green food than women, which have the largest proportion in the ingestion of that kind of food. Throughout the time period, the changes in the quantities fluctuate more times in kids and masculinities than females.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, children and men have the same behaviour, from the beginning starts decreasing the percentage of consumption until 2003, that year is an inflexion point because starts to increase steadily till 2006 when the peak,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 returns the fall in the proportions.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, feminine populations maintained an increase in percentages until 2006, with values above 30%,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is the highest value and, equally, as the other measured variable, declined but with no abnormalities.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, women maintain the mode of the consumption of fruit and vegetables with a major dosage.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumption trends
  • Demographics
  • Public health campaigns
  • Per capita
  • Consumption patterns
  • Nutritional intake
  • Statistical analysis
  • Dietary habits
  • Health recommendations
  • Daily servings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: