IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#rubbish #governments #amount
In the present ambience,
people
 are making a lot of
garbage
 in their daily activities.
Hence
, the environment and air can get polluted easily. The main reason behind
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 is most
people
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 it and they are giving priority to
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 plastic products,
due to
this
 quantity of waste is increasing.
Initially
, technology has grown tremendously, most
people
 don’t have an interest in cooking, and
hence
 they prefer to order food through online applications. So, food and plastic waste increasing day by day in urban areas.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical waste
also
 harms the environment and in today’s
trends
Add a comma
trends,
show examples
 maximum medical apparatus are made from plastics and other
fiber
Change the spelling
fibre
show examples
 materials. These items can’t
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decompose earlier,
thus
 water and land can be polluted soon.
In other words
, most of the industries are situated around the urban areas and there are numerous sewage products which are evacuated from the factories that products mixed with the water. To illustrate, in my home country,
people
 who are living in urban areas, they are using plastic bags for their daily activities.
Thus
,
garbage
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 soaring daily.
Furthermore
, the
government
 should implement stringent laws to reduce the wastage level.
Additionally
, authorities from the
government
 must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
conduct special campaigns and broadcast some
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 about the impacts of
garbage
.
In addition
, if any individuals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not obey the law and
government
 should punish them
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 heavy penalties.
To sum up
,
to eradicate
Change the verb form
eradicating
show examples
 human
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
wastages
Fix the agreement mistake
wastage
show examples
 fully is not possible. Whilst,
government
 and citizens should cooperate together and reduce the quantity of
garbage
. It will give good output for the nation
as well as
 the public.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the question and improve your task achievement. For example, you could explore more specific ways that governments could reduce waste production.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details. This will help with the flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. Examples make your arguments more convincing and relatable. For instance, mention specific policies or initiatives that have been successful in reducing waste.
grammar and vocabulary
Check for grammatical accuracy and improve sentence structure. For instance, ‘Initially, technology has grown tremendously, most people don’t have an interest in cooking’ can be broken into two sentences for clarity.
structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
task achievement
You identified relevant reasons for increasing rubbish production and suggested feasible government actions, addressing the prompt directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: