Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security. Othersthink people cannot always enjoy their jobs, so having a permanent job is more important.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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According to

Linking Words

some people,

high

Add an article

a high

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salary

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is much

important

Correct quantifier usage

more important

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than

job

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satisfaction

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

it is undoubtedly the significance of

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary

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, I firmly believe that choosing only jobs with a higher

salary

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would be a mistake.

Job

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satisfaction

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

one

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of the goals that we should achieve in life.

Initially

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, career contentment gives people

Correct article usage

apply

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self-

satisfaction

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and fulfilment. Thereby, it will

leads

Change the verb form

lead

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to prodictive creativity,

on the other hand

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choosing

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

Salary

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over

job

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satisfaction

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may result in not living comfortably based on inferiority and

luck

Correct your spelling

lack

show examples

of belonging, and

this

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person will end up unhappy.

Therefore

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, choosing a

job

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you're

pasionate

Correct your spelling

passionate

about is a necessity for happiness and gratification,

for

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example

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example,

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some employees work in a company they like they choose

this

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job

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based

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show examples

their personal interests,

therefore

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, they produce with more creativity and devotion with love to the profession, and

this

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leads to psychological

satisfaction

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and earning more money,

this

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is the elements we should give more consideration to for better outcomes.

Furthermore

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job

Use synonyms

satisfaction

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results a career growth, being content can produce creative productivity and

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

the number of daily productions,

therefore

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, success and

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

salary

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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guaranteed.

Moreover

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, there is a strong relationship between

job

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satisfaction

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and productivity,

this

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is because people

who's

Change the verb form

who are

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passionate about their jobs work better and achieve better

useing

Correct your spelling

using

their ardent for their work as fuel,

for instance

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, a person who just started a business if he loves his own

job

Use synonyms

, Consequences, he will be successful in his field. In conclusion, I agree with the opinion of the importance of choosing

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction

Use synonyms

as a career path, because it flourishes in you psychologically and physically and guarantees you professional success.

Ayreen🍒 Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states the question being discussed. Your introduction can be confusing as it starts with a somewhat different idea about high salary vs. job satisfaction instead of job satisfaction vs. job security.

task achievement

Work on providing more examples or evidence to support your main points. It will help in making your argument stronger and more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are long and slightly convoluted. Breaking them into shorter sentences can make your arguments clearer.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and typos. For example, ‘luck of belonging’ should be ‘lack of belonging’, and ‘useing’ should be ‘using’. These errors can affect the readability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

More effective paragraphing can help in better laying out your ideas in a structured manner. Consider using separate paragraphs for different points about job satisfaction and related benefits.

task achievement

You demonstrate a clear understanding of the importance of job satisfaction, and your argument is generally well-reasoned.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion is strong and summarizes your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security. Othersthink people cannot always enjoy their jobs, so having a permanent job is more important.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Some people think robots are very important to humans' future development while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?