Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security. Othersthink people cannot always enjoy their jobs, so having a permanent job is more important.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
According to
some people, high
Add an article
a high
salary
is much important
than Correct quantifier usage
more important
job
satisfaction
. Although
it is undoubtedly the significance of high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
, I firmly believe that choosing only jobs with a higher salary
would be a mistake. Job
satisfaction
is on
of the goals that we should achieve in life.
Correct your spelling
one
Initially
, career contentment gives people a
self-Correct article usage
apply
satisfaction
and fulfilment. Thereby, it will leads
to prodictive creativity, Change the verb form
lead
on the other hand
choosing higher
Correct article usage
a higher
Salary
over job
satisfaction
may result in not living comfortably based on inferiority and luck
of belonging, and Correct your spelling
lack
this
person will end up unhappy.Therefore
, choosing a job
you're pasionate
about is a necessity for happiness and gratification, Correct your spelling
passionate
for
example
some employees work in a company they like they choose Add a comma
example,
this
job
based of
their personal interests, Change preposition
on
therefore
, they produce with more creativity and devotion with love to the profession, and this
leads to psychological satisfaction
and earning more money, this
is the elements we should give more consideration to for better outcomes.
Furthermore
, job
satisfaction
results a career growth, being content can produce creative productivity and increases
the number of daily productions,Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
therefore
, success and higher
Correct article usage
a higher
salary
is
guaranteed. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Moreover
, there is a strong relationship between job
satisfaction
and productivity, this
is because people who's
passionate about their jobs work better and achieve better Change the verb form
who are
useing
their ardent for their work as fuel, Correct your spelling
using
for instance
, a person who just started a business if he loves his own job
, Consequences, he will be successful in his field.
In conclusion, I agree with the opinion of the importance of choosing job
satisfaction
as a career path, because it flourishes in you psychologically and physically and guarantees you professional success.Submitted by Ayreen🍒
on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the question being discussed. Your introduction can be confusing as it starts with a somewhat different idea about high salary vs. job satisfaction instead of job satisfaction vs. job security.
task achievement
Work on providing more examples or evidence to support your main points. It will help in making your argument stronger and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are long and slightly convoluted. Breaking them into shorter sentences can make your arguments clearer.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and typos. For example, ‘luck of belonging’ should be ‘lack of belonging’, and ‘useing’ should be ‘using’. These errors can affect the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
More effective paragraphing can help in better laying out your ideas in a structured manner. Consider using separate paragraphs for different points about job satisfaction and related benefits.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the importance of job satisfaction, and your argument is generally well-reasoned.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is strong and summarizes your main points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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