Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

#education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #people #services

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is

development

Correct article usage

a development

show examples

country

’s growth largely depends on how educated and healthy its citizens are . The burgeoning population and the lack of funds often make

harder

Correct pronoun usage

it harder

show examples

for the authority to bear the expenses of their needs , especially in

education

, housing and treatment. I believe that an effective solution would be to divide the expenditures between the

government

and the individuals.

To begin

with ,

education

, nowadays, plays a vital role in the development of society not only

created

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

jobs

Change the noun form

job

show examples

opportunities

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

people become aware of the

Scion - economic

Correct your spelling

socio-economic

show examples

issue of the

country

.Making

education

free till the age of 18 would encourage the pupils to

finished

Change the form of the verb

finish

show examples

their least secondary

education

For instance

, the percentage enrollment for school in 2023 in my

country

increased by 20% than that of 2022 , and it was because the

government

exempted fees for

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

these lesson

Change the determiner

this lesson

these lessons

show examples

Moreover

, the healthcare system can

also

be improve

Change the verb form

be improved

show examples

by providing either health insurance or schemes that cover a minimum of 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

cost

Add an article

the cost

show examples

Thus

people would not feel that healthcare is expensive

while

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the

government

would not need to bear the expense alone . A healthier nation can help the

country

achieve greater heights as citizens in

such

countries are more productive.

Consequently

, the economic

growths

Fix the agreement mistake

growth

show examples

bosltered

Correct your spelling

bolstered

and the

government

would be able to

self- reliant

Correct your spelling

self-reliant

show examples

. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

completely agree that all the

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

show examples

in our world should have funds to support their people

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

significant for

education

and healthcare

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

the

country

will be more developing in future.

Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on Wed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence/Cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly.

Coherence/Cohesion

Revise and edit the essay to correct grammatical and spelling errors. This will help improve clarity and coherence.

Coherence/Cohesion

Make sure that the introduction clearly states your position and previews the main points of your essay.

Coherence/Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stays focused on a single idea or point.

Task Achievement

You have addressed both aspects of the given topic, discussing both education and healthcare.

Task Achievement

You provided specific statistics to support your point about education, which strengthens your argument.

Coherence/Cohesion

The essay contains a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

equity
social justice
economic benefits
productive workforce
quality of life
social mobility
personal responsibility
overuse
inefficiencies
feasibility
implementation challenges
sustainable funding

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: o Your reason for writing o What you would like to happen o A nice, respectful style
I am your next-door neighbour. It is regret that I must bring your attention to a problem with the constant barking of your small dog. It barks all the day and night. Please let me explain.
5.5
band
Nowadays, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Societies had to unavoidably adapt their processes by not meeting face-to-face as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. Hence, majority of the employees are able to work from home. In this essay, both the benefits and certain drawbacks would be discussed in more detail.
4.5
band
Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?
Nowadays, some students such as primary and secondary will buy healthy and unhealthy food from the school cafeteria when in the recess time. About this phenomenon, here are two reasons for why will make these situations and schools should will be allowed to sell unhealthy food.
7
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [598]
Nowadays some people believe that the problem regarding the extinction of trees and animals is most distinguished, whereas others contradict that opinion and suggest that the main issues are global warming, air pollution and climate change. In my opinion, environmental problems are the most important.
7.5
band
Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The global surge in obesity and diet-related illnesses has spurred governments to explore a multifaceted approach to public health. One contentious strategy gaining traction is the implementation of sugar taxes on beverages and foods with high sugar content. While this approach finds strong support from public health advocates, it faces opposition concerned about fairness and efficacy. This essay will delve into the arguments for and against sugar taxes, ultimately advocating for a well-calibrated approach that prioritizes public health without compromising individual freedom.

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Fully explain your ideas

Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: o Your reason for writing o What you would like to happen o A nice, respectful style

Nowadays, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [598]

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.