Some university students are in favor of studying different subjects rather than focusing on one main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is a great deal of debate concerning the courses learned in higher education.
Although
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some people are keen to
studying
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study
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more than
one
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language, In my
opinion
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opinion,
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it is beneficial to study a variety of subjects. On the
one
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hand, many people believe that having a wide range of knowledge in different areas is
benficial
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beneficial
. Proponents of
this
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view believe, that
this
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diversity can help an individual navigate
thier
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their
personal
interest
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interests
show examples
and requirements. It is evident that students who indulge in more than
one
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course get to
accquire
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acquire
experience and knowledge
that is
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beneficial in problem-solving.
For instance
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, if a law student registers for a first-aid course
in
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at
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the university,
this
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could potentially help in emergency situations that require intervention.
Therefore
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, the knowledge of minor
course
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courses
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is
extremly
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extremely
beneficial to
develope
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developing
a well-rounded person.
In contrast
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, others strongly advise that focusing merely on
one
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qualification is crucial in academic performance. Studies reveal, that students who focus on
one
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subject at a time, will
consequently
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be less distracted.
Therefore
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, being more productive and motivated to
excelle
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excel
and reach
full
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their full
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potential to
succed
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succeed
in their major.
This
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can be seen when a medical student focuses purely on their field to achieve high grades that will
ultimatley
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ultimately
grant them a
well paid
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well-paid
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job in
prestious
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prestigious
hospitals. In conclusion,
Although
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the benefits of focusing on
one
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qualification
is
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are
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undeniable
such
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as
a
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apply
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possessing a
well paid
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well-paid
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job, It seems reasonable to side with learning more than
one
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subject as it will broaden a
students
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student's
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view on different aspects of life.
Submitted by sara.elkhansa on

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Grammar
Watch out for minor grammatical mistakes such as 'studying more than one language' instead of 'studying more than one subject.' Accurate grammar improves clarity and readability.
Development
Ensure all ideas presented are developed comprehensively. Give slightly more detailed explanations for each point to enhance the depth of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which fulfills the task requirement well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure is mostly followed with relevant supporting examples. This helps in maintaining coherence and better engages the readers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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