Some university students are in favor of studying different subjects rather than focusing on one main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#university #students #favor #subjects #time #attention #qualification

There is a great deal of debate concerning the courses learned in higher education.

Although

some people are keen to

studying

Change the form of the verb

study

show examples

more than

one

language, In my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

it is beneficial to study a variety of subjects. On the

one

hand, many people believe that having a wide range of knowledge in different areas is

benficial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

. Proponents of

this

view believe, that

this

diversity can help an individual navigate

thier

Correct your spelling

their

personal

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and requirements. It is evident that students who indulge in more than

one

course get to

accquire

Correct your spelling

acquire

experience and knowledge

that is

beneficial in problem-solving.

For instance

, if a law student registers for a first-aid course

Change preposition

show examples

the university,

this

could potentially help in emergency situations that require intervention.

Therefore

, the knowledge of minor

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

extremly

Correct your spelling

extremely

beneficial to

develope

Correct your spelling

developing

a well-rounded person.

In contrast

, others strongly advise that focusing merely on

one

qualification is crucial in academic performance. Studies reveal, that students who focus on

one

subject at a time, will

consequently

be less distracted.

Therefore

, being more productive and motivated to

excelle

Correct your spelling

excel

and reach

full

Correct pronoun usage

their full

show examples

potential to

succed

Correct your spelling

succeed

in their major.

This

can be seen when a medical student focuses purely on their field to achieve high grades that will

ultimatley

Correct your spelling

ultimately

grant them a

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

job in

prestious

Correct your spelling

prestigious

hospitals. In conclusion,

Although

the benefits of focusing on

one

qualification

Change the verb form

are

show examples

undeniable

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

possessing a

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

job, It seems reasonable to side with learning more than

one

subject as it will broaden a

students

Change noun form

student's

show examples

view on different aspects of life.

Submitted by sara.elkhansa on Wed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Watch out for minor grammatical mistakes such as 'studying more than one language' instead of 'studying more than one subject.' Accurate grammar improves clarity and readability.

Development

Ensure all ideas presented are developed comprehensively. Give slightly more detailed explanations for each point to enhance the depth of your essay.

Task Achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which fulfills the task requirement well.

Coherence and Cohesion

Logical structure is mostly followed with relevant supporting examples. This helps in maintaining coherence and better engages the readers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals opine that subjects such as drawing,drama and music are fruitful for pupils due to this they need to add these areas of study to their syllabus.I totally agree with the above statement because this will make a study more interesting and help to identify creative minds.
5
band
"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Regarding the fact that we are living in the modern world, there are quite a few people make an effort to determine new profitable approaches to parenting issues. Consequently, a considerable number of people firmly state that fathership ought to get the same hype and attention as mothership, while the other majority of people unanimously denounce and claim that motherhood is the most important and responsible side of the parenting. Personally, I hold the view that we should ponder over this tender subject equally and properly. The following essay targets to support the mentioned statements above with appropriate reasons and examples.
6
band
The paragraph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six -month period in 2011.
The line graph compares and contrasts information on the questions asked by tourists at the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period, from January to June in the year 2011.
6
band
In the past, everyone wore clothes according to their culture but now people wear similar clothes all around the world. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, everyone is wearing stylish clothes from the last few decades. In the past, all people wore clothes according to their culture but now they wear similar clothes worldwide. This is a positive development. In this essay, I will explain all the reasons in detail.
6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Some people hold the view that children always waste their time on their smartphones and there are many reasons for that problem. from my observation, I suppose that this habit has many negative results for kids and teenagers, which I will discuss in this essay.

Some university students are in favor of studying different subjects rather than focusing on one main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The paragraph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six -month period in 2011.

In the past, everyone wore clothes according to their culture but now people wear similar clothes all around the world. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?