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Some university students are in favor of studying different subjects rather than focusing on one main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#university #students #favor #subjects #time #attention #qualification
There is a great deal of debate concerning the courses learned in higher education.
Although
 some people are keen to
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
 more than
one
 language, In my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
 it is beneficial to study a variety of subjects. On the
one
 hand, many people believe that having a wide range of knowledge in different areas is
benficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
. Proponents of
this
 view believe, that
this
 diversity can help an individual navigate
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 personal
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and requirements. It is evident that students who indulge in more than
one
 course get to
accquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 experience and knowledge
that is
 beneficial in problem-solving.
For instance
, if a law student registers for a first-aid course
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the university,
this
 could potentially help in emergency situations that require intervention.
Therefore
, the knowledge of minor
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 beneficial to
develope
Correct your spelling
developing
 a well-rounded person.
In contrast
, others strongly advise that focusing merely on
one
 qualification is crucial in academic performance. Studies reveal, that students who focus on
one
 subject at a time, will
consequently
 be less distracted.
Therefore
, being more productive and motivated to
excelle
Correct your spelling
excel
 and reach
full
Correct pronoun usage
their full
show examples
 potential to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in their major.
This
 can be seen when a medical student focuses purely on their field to achieve high grades that will
ultimatley
Correct your spelling
ultimately
 grant them a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 job in
prestious
Correct your spelling
prestigious
 hospitals. In conclusion,
Although
 the benefits of focusing on
one
 qualification
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 undeniable
such
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
possessing a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 job, It seems reasonable to side with learning more than
one
 subject as it will broaden a
students
Change noun form
student's
show examples
 view on different aspects of life.
Submitted by sara.elkhansa on

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Grammar
Watch out for minor grammatical mistakes such as 'studying more than one language' instead of 'studying more than one subject.' Accurate grammar improves clarity and readability.
Development
Ensure all ideas presented are developed comprehensively. Give slightly more detailed explanations for each point to enhance the depth of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which fulfills the task requirement well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure is mostly followed with relevant supporting examples. This helps in maintaining coherence and better engages the readers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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