IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Study
Correct article usage
The study
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 of outer
space
Use synonyms
 is a cutting-edge science.
However
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, it is very
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
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 and many people believe governments should invest in other areas which can improve
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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 lives. From my perspective, I think the
resurces
Correct your spelling
resources
 allocated to explore
space
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 justified. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why.
Space
Use synonyms
 exploration holds the key to the sustainability of life in the future. We have been polluting the earth for a very long time,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result, now facing alarming effects of climate changes,
such
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 as sea level rise
due to
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 polar ice melting and destruction of
Correct article usage
the ozon
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ozon
Correct your spelling
ozone
 layer and so on. The threat of nuclear war and possible nuclear disaster has made the situation more worrying. Actively
tryin
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trying
tryin'
 to
collonize
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colonize
colonise
 other planets is the only viable solution, if we want to keep our
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 in
this
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 scenario. A company called SpaceX
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is focusing on that and their target is to
collonize
Correct your spelling
colonize
 the planet Mars.
However
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, it is difficult for people to understand the importance of these initiatives, because they can not see the effects of pollution as it is a slow process.
However
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, we can see the
scientefic
Correct your spelling
scientific
 developments brought to us through
space
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 studies.
Due to
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 the harsh
condition
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conditions
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outer
space
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, scientists are rethinking and inventing new technologies to survive there.
This
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 process has led to important discoveries that we utilize
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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, though we may not be aware of it.
For instance
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, microwaving food is a concept born out of NASA experiments,
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and so
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so
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and so
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 is
hydroponic
Add an article
a hydroponic
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 method for
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
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plant
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plants
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 and contact
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lenses
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lens
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lenses
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.
To conclude
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,
space
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 programs are not only important
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 necessary for the betterment of our society despite it being very costly. I disagree
to
Change preposition
with
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 the belief that authority should allocate their budget
elsewhere
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. I
also
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 hope that people will gradually understand and welcome the efforts many
space
Use synonyms
 agencies are putting into making a prosperous future.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by presenting the topic and your perspective. However, there are some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that need attention. For instance, 'expansive' should be 'expensive,' and 'resurces' should be 'resources.'
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, with clear ideas and relevant examples. However, there are some technical inaccuracies such as 'ozone layer' instead of 'ozon layer,' and 'scientific' instead of 'scientefic.'
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is generally clear, but having a thesis statement at the end of the introduction would strengthen the coherence. This would give a clear roadmap of what the essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
It is clear that you support space exploration, but your paragraphs could be better linked. For example, use linking words like 'furthermore' or 'moreover' to connect sentences within paragraphs more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is well-organized with a strong introduction and conclusion. Both paragraphs present a clear argument and your stance is easy to understand.
supported main points
You have provided strong supporting points and examples, especially linking space research developments like microwaves and hydroponics to daily life, which adds weight to your arguments.
complete response
You have addressed the prompt fully and presented a balanced response with a compelling argument in favor of space exploration.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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