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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentages of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentages of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevant.
#percentages #households #accommodation #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the details concerning the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 of
household
Use synonyms
 status in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. It is
obivously
Correct your spelling
obviously
 witnessed that the rate of owning their own house increased each year over the period.
Conversely
Linking Words
, rented
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 showed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 descending trend. Upon closer examination of the data, the percentage of rented
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 were at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
23% in 1918 and rose to 33% in 1939. It
then
Linking Words
 slightly went down to 31% in 1953 and keep
climb
Change the form of the verb
climbing
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a steady pace, and reached its peak in 2001, with 69% respectively. The percentage of
househole
Correct your spelling
households
household
 in rented soon dropped to 65% in the next recorded year.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of households
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
owned
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 at
peak
Correct pronoun usage
its peak
show examples
 in 1918, and
then
Linking Words
 dipped in 1939,
constinuously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 with 78% and 68% respectively. The rate
steady
Add a missing verb
was steady
show examples
 in the
14 year
Add a hyphen
14-year
show examples
 period, and kept decreasing.
However
Linking Words
, the decreasing pace slowed down in 1991 and 2001, with 32% and 31% respectively. It
then
Linking Words
 gradually climbed to 36% in 2011. After a
thoroughly
Change the adverb
thorough
show examples
 analysis, the trend of
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rented
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 line with househole in owned, which reveals an implication that they might
negatively
Add a missing verb
be negatively
show examples
 correlated with
the
Correct your spelling
each
show examples
 other.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climb" was used 2 times.
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