Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal informatoin, such as their hobbies and interests, and wheteher they are married or single. some people say tha this information may be releveant and useful. other disagree. discuss both views amd give your own opinioon

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There is no doubt that these days everybody is competing

applying

Change the verb form

to apply

show examples

into

Change preposition

for

show examples

jobs. The question is, is it useful to request the

candidtants

Correct your spelling

candidates

providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

their personal

information

Use synonyms

? In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of

positive

Add an article

the positive

show examples

side, by taking

these personal

Change the determiner

this personal information

show examples

information

Use synonyms

Change preposition

into

show examples

account

such

Linking Words

as hobbies and preferences, they could give the

employer

Use synonyms

a perspective about the skills that the candidate has.

For instance

Linking Words

, If one of the candidates

enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoys

show examples

drawing and painting , he or she might be creative and think in a way different from others. So that,

this

Linking Words

would influence the efficiency of the field that they belong to it.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when the

employer

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

accepts

show examples

an application for one , he or she might

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

get the insurance that the

employer

Use synonyms

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

for his employees. To illustrate, they could benefit from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

insurance in healthcare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

and buying the necessary things with special discounts.

For example

Linking Words

, If a person purchases a device from Extra he or she would get

Correct article usage

a 20

show examples

% discount.

However

Linking Words

these

Change the determiner

this information

show examples

information

Use synonyms

when it has been seen

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the privacy of the candidate. The main reason to support

this

Linking Words

claim is a

lots

Change the noun form

lot

show examples

of people do not like to be like an open book read by anybody.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the stability uncertainty when one employee

decide

Change the verb form

decides

show examples

to leave

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work. In

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

, It could cost the

employer

Use synonyms

regarding the insurance provided. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal

information

Use synonyms

has drawbacks that

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

both sides which are the

applier

Replace the word

applicant

show examples

and

Use synonyms

employer

Correct article usage

the employer

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that

those

Change the determiner

that information

show examples

Use synonyms

information

Add a verb

information is

information was

show examples

very useful for deciding

selection

Add an article

the selection

show examples

of employees.

sarah3bdullahm397Wed Jun 26 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task, but it lacks enough specific examples to fully support your points.

task achievement

You should work on developing your points more fully. It would be beneficial to elaborate on your ideas and provide more detailed examples.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure, the flow of ideas could be improved. Try to use more cohesive devices to link your points and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to syntax and grammar - some sentences are awkward or contain errors. This can distract the reader from your main points.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a good structure.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows that you can see different perspectives on the issue.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

soft skills
team interaction
long-term commitment
leadership
teamwork
time management
stability
biases
discrimination
ethical standards
privacy concerns
professional qualifications
job performance
industries
technical fields

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal informatoin, such as their hobbies and interests, and wheteher they are married or single. some people say tha this information may be releveant and useful. other disagree. discuss both views amd give your own opinioon

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?