Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some argue that older staff play more important roles in an institution's success than the younger,
while
others assume that the youth are more crucial.
Although
it is undeniable that young generations might have great contributions to the achievement of an organization, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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seniors always have
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
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impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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on a firm's accomplishment. On the
one
hand, there is no doubt that a huge number of a company's fulfilments are achieved directly by junior employees' dynamism and creation. In a super competitive market nowadays, just enterprises with human resources that are full of energy and ingenuity, which are advantages of the youth, may be easier to attain victory.
For example
, Apple is
one
of the most successful corporations in the world, and dynamic
as well as
innovative staff are among the essential elements that make them become
giant
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giants
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.
However
, I am convinced that seniors' contributions to the prosperity of a business may far outweigh
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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of young ones.
On the other hand
, elderly employees play an extremely crucial and sometimes unreplaceable role in development orientation,
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and
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strategic planning, which are vital to help make
one
venture
growth stably
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grow stable
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. All over the world, most leaders of not only a lot of associations but
also
governments are the older generations because the citizens and
stock holders
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stockholders
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believe that they have rich experience, broad knowledge, stable personality and wide enough relationships to help the company develop sustainably.
For instance
, when I was a sales and purchasing manager of an agriculture
import - export
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import-export
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corporation, I used to have business
relationship
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relationships
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with hundreds of global company managers and about 70% of them
are
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were
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from 30 to 60 years old, just around 30% of managers are under 30. So, I am definitely sure that
the
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apply
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olders
Correct your spelling
older
are a better choice for an institution's success, and they are
also
experienced enough to support young generations to fulfill their tasks. In conclusion, despite the fact that
early-carreer
Correct your spelling
early career
staff are absolutely dynamic and have a lot of new ideas
to
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apply
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worth being the future of
one
business entity, I am persuaded that experienced personnel are of greater importance to
one
venture.
Submitted by hoangdaosales on

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grammar
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings to improve clarity. For example, change 'fulfilments' to 'achievements' and 'may be easier to attain victory' to 'may find it easier to succeed.'
content
Develop a clearer comparison between the roles of young and elderly employees throughout the essay, keeping the analysis of their contributions balanced.
coherence
Strengthen the coherence by ensuring all points flow logically from one to the next. For instance, the transition between discussing young employees and elderly employees could be smoother.
structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with a solid introduction and conclusion.
content
You provide relevant examples to support your main points, which is excellent in illustrating your arguments.
language
The use of varied sentence structures keeps the essay engaging and demonstrates a good command of English.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Experience and knowledge
  • Company culture
  • Professional network
  • Mentoring
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Fresh perspectives
  • Adaptable
  • Innovative solutions
  • Technological advancements
  • Competitive edge
  • Energy levels
  • Drive to succeed
  • Balanced workforce
  • Synergy
  • Dynamic team
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