some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology

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Nowaday

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Nowadays

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, many people agree that

History

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is one of the most essential subjects in

school

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. Others agree that subjects like Science and

Technology

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are more necessary than

History

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This

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essay will

analy

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analyse

two

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apply

show examples

views and

also

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provide my opinion. First of all, we need to clear that the developed countries.

For instance

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, the UK and the USA always focus on the

history

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of their country in

strong

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a strong

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and long way in future. People, especially students and pupils need to remember their

history

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History

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is a crucial

tilte

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title

that directs about the future and present of

country

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a country

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. And, as we can see, the UK and

USA

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the USA

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are two of

most

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the most

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developed and developing in the

world

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with many skyscrapers, modern phones,

new

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and new

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laptops, ... and all

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of American

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American

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America

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and England

very

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are very

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confident about their

history

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. In their mind, always have a responsibility

about

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show examples

safe

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save

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and protect their various

history

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. So,

history

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also

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one of the most important subjects in

school

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Go to

Verb problem

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another

Correct determiner usage

the

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view, some students and their parents think that Science and

technology

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are more essential than

History

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in the modern

world

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today.

For example

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apply

show examples

some countries have some thought is in Asia country,

such

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as South Korea, China, North Korea, Vietnam... most people in these countries

also

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thinks

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think

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that Biology, Physic, Chemistry and

Technology

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is needer than

History

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They

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If they

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have a good score in these

subject

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subjects

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, they won’t be

success

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successful

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in the future because the

world

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are

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developing day by day. And for

history

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, it’s not necessary because it’s not help students

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with

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the test in high

school

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or university. In conclusion, from my conviction, both Science and

Technology

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also

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have their own

significant

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significance

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Nonetheless

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history

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also

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play

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plays

show examples

Change the article

show examples

important role in

school

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and

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world

Correct article usage

the world

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due to

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what I mentioned above.

Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on Thu Jun 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. For example, the paragraph discussing the importance of history should solely focus on that, without veering into examples of developed countries. This will improve the logical structure.

coherence cohesion

Revise the essay to avoid sentence fragments and run-on sentences. For instance, "And, as we can see, the UK and USA are two of most developed..." can be rephrased for better clarity and grammar.

coherence cohesion

Improve the use of transition words and phrases. Using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'However' can better signal a shift from one argument to the opposing viewpoint.

task achievement

Your main points are relevant but need more solid examples and explanation. Describe more deeply how history influences future decisions or how science and technology drive today's job market.

task achievement

Avoid general statements that lack depth, such as 'most people in these countries think...'. Back these claims up with statistics, surveys, or studies.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated and effectively frame the essay.

structure

You've made an effort to present balanced arguments for both views, which is a good approach to this type of essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial
comprehend
retrospect
gain insights
reflect on
sharpen
evaluate
significance
heritage
legacy
advent
breakthroughs
sustain
sustainability
revolutions
empowered
overcome
transform
advancements
collaboration
cooperation
diversity
fulfilling
promote
facilitate
prosperity
enhance
foster
foundation

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some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other object, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say history is one of the most important subjects in schools .other people think that in today’s world subjects science and Technology are more important than history Discuss both this views and give your own opinion

Homelessness in increasingly in many major city's around the world. What are the problem and give solutions.

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.