some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowaday
, many people agree that Correct your spelling
Nowadays
History
is one of the most essential subjects in school
. Others agree that subjects like Science and Technology
are more necessary than History
. This
essay will analy
two Correct your spelling
analyse
of
views and Change preposition
apply
also
provide my opinion.
First of all, we need to clear that the developed countries. For instance
, the UK and the USA always focus on the history
of their country in strong
and long way in future. People, especially students and pupils need to remember their Add an article
a strong
history
. History
is a crucial tilte
that directs about the future and present of Correct your spelling
title
country
. And, as we can see, the UK and Correct article usage
a country
USA
are two of Correct article usage
the USA
most
developed and developing in the Correct article usage
the most
world
with many skyscrapers, modern phones, new
laptops, ... and all Correct word choice
and new
Change preposition
of American
American
and England Correct your spelling
America
very
confident about their Add a missing verb
are very
history
. In their mind, always have a responsibility about
Change preposition
to
safe
and protect their various Replace the word
save
history
. So, history
is also
one of the most important subjects in school
.
Go to
Verb problem
On
another
view, some students and their parents think that Science and Correct determiner usage
the
technology
are more essential than History
in the modern world
today. For example
of
some countries have some thought is in Asia country, Change preposition
apply
such
as South Korea, China, North Korea, Vietnam... most people in these countries also
thinks
that Biology, Physic, Chemistry and Change the verb form
think
Technology
is needer than History
. They
have a good score in these Correct word choice
If they
subject
, they won’t be Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
success
in the future because the Replace the word
successful
world
are
developing day by day. And for Change the verb form
is
history
, it’s not necessary because it’s not help students in
the test in high Change preposition
with
school
or university.
In conclusion, from my conviction, both Science and Technology
also
have their own significant
. Replace the word
significance
Nonetheless
, the
Correct article usage
apply
history
also
play
Change the verb form
plays
a
important role in Change the article
an
school
and world
Correct article usage
the world
due to
what I mentioned above.Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. For example, the paragraph discussing the importance of history should solely focus on that, without veering into examples of developed countries. This will improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Revise the essay to avoid sentence fragments and run-on sentences. For instance, "And, as we can see, the UK and USA are two of most developed..." can be rephrased for better clarity and grammar.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of transition words and phrases. Using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'However' can better signal a shift from one argument to the opposing viewpoint.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant but need more solid examples and explanation. Describe more deeply how history influences future decisions or how science and technology drive today's job market.
task achievement
Avoid general statements that lack depth, such as 'most people in these countries think...'. Back these claims up with statistics, surveys, or studies.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated and effectively frame the essay.
structure
You've made an effort to present balanced arguments for both views, which is a good approach to this type of essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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