Band 6+: The pie chart shows the percentage of reasons why people are homeless in the UK.

Band 6+: The pie chart shows the percentage of reasons why people are homeless in the UK.
The pie chart shows the reasons
of
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show examples
for
homelessness
and the percentage of each section in the UK.
Overall
, it can be seen that the most vital factor of
homelessness
is the
loss
of accommodation with relatives and friends.
Additionally
, mortgage and rent arrears
is
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show examples
are rated as the least important factor in the reasons
of
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show examples
for
homelessness
.
To begin
with, it is apparent that the
loss
of accommodation with relatives and friends is accountable for 34% of
homelessness
in the UK, which is the most significant reason
of
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show examples
for
being
Unnecessary verb
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show examples
homelessness
.
Moreover
, the percentage of
the
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relationship breakdowns is the second highest in the UK, which is 10
percent
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per cent
show examples
below that of the
loss
of accommodation with relatives and friends(24%).
In contrast
, the lowest proportion
is belong
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belongs
show examples
to mortgage and rent arrears, at only 9%. As you can see from the chart, the
loss
of tenancy represents 13% of
homelessness
, which is approximately similar to the other reasons(19%).
Submitted by Nastaran_zandy on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words homelessness, loss with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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