IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. and attention to studying for a qualification. their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to

#attention #qualification #subjects #time #university #students #addition
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No
one
 can deny that most people
belives
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 it is important to give all their
time
 and attention to the main
subject
,
while
 others prefer
otherwise
. In
this
 essay I will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the
possibile
Correct your spelling
possible
 point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, and what I personally think. On
one
 hand, Focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
one
subjest
Correct your spelling
subject
 has its benefits.
For example
, studying majors like medicine ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 and very dense, is better to stay in
this
 main
subjesct
Correct your spelling
subject
 and not branch out. another key reason is
having
Verb problem
that paying
show examples
 full attention to
one
subject
 makes the person
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
Excell
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it. When the student spends all his
time
 and effort
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
one
 main
subject
logicaly
Correct your spelling
logically
logical
 he will be good at it.
On the other hand
, despite the above argument, other people choose to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that learning other subjects
in addition
 to their main
subject
 is important for many reasons.
Firstly
, it helps
students
 expand their
horizens
Correct your spelling
horizons
. because learning new subjects is like having a different point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, that may
contrbute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to the main
subject
.
secondly
, learning more than
one
subject
 can be
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
students
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of entertainment. To illustrate, many
students
 enjoy reading and learning, about physics
for example
, but
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 study it as a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 major. In conclusion, it seems that learning more than
one
meterial
Correct your spelling
material
in addition
 to their main
one
 and learning just
one
meterial
Correct your spelling
material
 is a good
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
idea that depends on the
students
 themselves. In my point of view, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that focusing on
one
subject
 is the best option because it allows the learner to give all his energy in
one
 place so they do not burn out.
Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on

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grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'belives' should be 'believes', 'disscuss' should be 'discuss', and 'subjest' should be 'subject'. Consistency in spelling and grammar improves readability and clarity.
content
Ensure that your main points are well-developed and supported with specific examples. While you did provide examples, they can be expanded for better support of your arguments. A stronger argument with more detailed evidence will make your essay more compelling.
structure
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Using phrases like 'In addition', 'Moreover', 'On the contrary', etc., can help to signpost the reader and create a more cohesive argument.
structure
You have a clear structure with a defined introduction, main body, and conclusion. This helps in understanding your arguments and following your train of thought.
content
The essay presents both viewpoints on the topic, fulfilling the task requirements and showing your ability to see different perspectives.
content
You provided your own opinion and a rationale for it, which strengthens your conclusion and demonstrates critical thinking.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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