The graph below shows the percentage of people by age group visiting the cinema at least once per month in one particular country between 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people by age group visiting the cinema at least once per month in one particular country between 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of people by
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

group who went to the cinema at least once a month in a country over 30
year
Change to a plural noun
years

The singular noun year follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

show examples
starting in 1978. At first glance, it is visible that the percentage of 14-
24 years old
Correct your spelling
24-year-old

The words 24 years old seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

people was the highest among all categories. Interestingly, almost
ages
Correct determiner usage
all ages

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
experienced an upward trend with the exception of
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

14-24 and
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

25-34. In 1978, regarding
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
14-24 and
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

25-34, was about 91% and 80% respectively.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the rate of
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

14-24
reach
Wrong verb form
reached

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reach. Consider changing it.

show examples
a peak of 91% in the first year of the data, it still remained stable and dropped to 85% by 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the second-highest rate was the proportion of people who were
in
Change preposition
between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of 25 to 34 went down significantly and recovered immediately after 1998, and reached 75% in 2008.
In the
Change preposition
The

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
rest of
data
Correct article usage
the data

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
, specifically the figures for cinema visitors who were
in
Change preposition
between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of 25 to 34
is
Wrong verb form
were

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

show examples
similar to the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

figures. It had a different starting point in 1978, with 60% for
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

35-49 and 41% for
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

50+;
nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it both witnessed a slight decline by 1988 and climbed up again, surprisingly, it
stop
Wrong verb form
stopped

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb stop. Consider changing it.

show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
rising

If you don’t want rised to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and kept stable until 2008.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in relation to
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
35-49 and
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

50+,
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reaching. Consider changing it.

show examples
approximately 65% and 55% respectively by 2008.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: