There are some governments think economic development is the main key for the nation. But from the people’s view few more developments also very important.

There are some governments
think
Correct pronoun usage
that think
show examples
economic development is the main key for the nation. But from the people’s view
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
more developments
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
very important.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views. The primary reason for
this
is reducing the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
inflation.
This
is because,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
doesn't have enough money to run the
country
,
such
as government servant
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, medical expenses,transportation,
essentials
Fix the agreement mistake
essential
show examples
food product
imports
and fuel
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
.
Hence
, they are unable to develop the
country
. Another factor to mention here is, reducing the
imports
. As
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
very important to reduce the unnecessary
imports
to
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example vehicle
imports
, fruits, plastics,
liqure
Correct your spelling
liquor
and tobacco
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
Therefore
they are unable to develop.
Moreover
, increasing the taxes on
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
.
Due to
this
government can generate some income.
Thus
the revenue of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
will increase. As a common man’s view.
Firstly
, creating new employment across the
country
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in the remote area, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
in
remote
Add an article
the remote
a remote
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
. Owing to
this
gradually
country
can
reduce
Rephrase
gradually reduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment.
Secondly
, reducing the fuel price. Fuel price is very important to each and every individual as it’s
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main reason
to decide
Change preposition
for deciding
show examples
the price of
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
or service.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
food prices, transportation and other basic
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
will be reduced.
Lastly
, offering bank loans to people who are
business minded
Add a hyphen
business-minded
show examples
with
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
show examples
interest
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
. By doing
this
people are motivated to do their own business or
expend
Correct your spelling
expand
show examples
their existing business.
Thus
, we can see there are various factors that
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
up
country
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Organization
Your essay would benefit from a more clearly defined structure, including a clear introduction and conclusion. Consider stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion.
Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. This will help you develop your arguments more thoroughly and make your essay easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you mentioned reducing imports but could provide more details on how this affects the economy.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both perspectives, which is a good approach to responding to the prompt.
Language Use
Your essay demonstrates a fair grasp of English, with some good vocabulary choices.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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