IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
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The given line graph depicts the data of the proportion of travellers to England who went to 4 different tourist attractions in Brighton. At first glance,
it is clear that
 England experienced an upward trend in Pavilion's travellers
as well as
 Pier with the exception of
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
gallery
 and Festival. Notably, in 1980,
Festival's
Correct article usage
the Festival's
show examples
 data which is displayed on
chart
Add an article
the chart
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 was the most
fascinated
Replace the word
fascinating
show examples
 place for travellers. In 1980,
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
 was similar to
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
, approximately 22% and 21% respectively. The highest figure is Festival with 30% and the lowest one is Pier with 10%. The number of visitors who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
 witnessed an incredible increase to nearly 40% in 1985 prior to a dramatic decline to reach 8% by 2010.
On the other hand
, Pavilion
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 had the same traveller numbers in 1980 went up and down to reach 30% by 2010. Especially, Festival where remained stable in the percentage of visitors lost only roughly 3% in the course of 30
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 and reached 27% in 2010.
Finally
, Pier underwent a modest
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
, surpassing
Art
Gallery
 in 2005(14%) to be the third-highest which reached over 20% by 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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