IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#rent #car #holiday #agency #•explain #type #•give #request #information #cost #addresses
I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I would like to rent your
car
 tomorrow
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I will go
to
Change preposition
on
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 holiday with my big family.
Firstly
, I would like
the
Correct article usage
a
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car
 that large and many
amaunt
Correct your spelling
amount
amounts
 of people can
inside
Add a missing verb
be inside
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the
car
. I think the best
car
to
Change preposition
apply
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I m
Correct your spelling
I'm
 happy to use name is fortuner because the
car
 is luxurious
Correct word choice
and make
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 me and my big family absolutely comfortable.
In
addition
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addition,
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 I will tell you about when I
ready
Add a missing verb
am ready
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 to rent your
car
, perhaps I want to go on holiday
to morrow
Correct your spelling
tomorrow
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 at five
a
Correct article usage
apply
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clock
Correct your spelling
o'clock
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, show you
must availible
Verb problem
apply
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the type of
car
 that I want,
morever
Correct your spelling
moreover
 I must
waiting
Add the preposition
waiting for
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 my
farends
Correct your spelling
friends
 come back to home. For more
Correct your spelling
information
imformation
Correct your spelling
information
, please tell me how much many that you can ready to rent your
car
, but I hope
that is
 not
Correct your spelling
expensive
exspensive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 thank you for your attention, looking forward to your positive
replay
Correct your spelling
reply
show examples
. SAPARWADI.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is generally polite, but the language can be improved with more formal structures. For example, instead of 'big family,' you could say 'large family.'
complete response
Ensure to spellcheck your letter to avoid errors such as 'many amaunt' which should be 'large number' and 'availible' which should be 'available.'
complete response
The letter includes all the necessary details about the type of car, rental period, and request for information about cost.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, such as car type, timing, and additional information, which helps structure the text.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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