IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph describes information about how many England
visitors
 travelled to four different destinations in Brighton from 1980 to 2010. The most significant facts to emerge from the graph are that the most popular Brighton attraction the first year was
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
show examples
while
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
gallery
Capitalize word
Gallery
show examples
 had the lowest number of
visitors
at the end
 period. Looking at the details, art
Gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
Galleries
show examples
 and
pavilion
Fix the agreement mistake
pavilions
show examples
 had similar trends that stood at 22% in 1980.
Next,
art gallery
visitors
 increased almost twice times about 39%
then
 it fell quickly to 20% in 1990.
Finally
,
this
 declined slightly to 9% in 2010
whereas
 Pavilion
visitors
 reached a high of 49% in 1995, the maximum recorded of all figures from percentages shown on the chart but
this
 dropped gradually
15
Change preposition
to 15
show examples
% in 2010. Moving to Festival tourists, it started around 30% in 1980 and remained stable at 28% in 2010. Meanwhile, Pier destination achieved just 10% in the first year.
Subsequently
, There was a flat from 1985 to 2000. After that,
this
 figure rose slowly to 21% in 2010
Submitted by k a l l a on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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