IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

active ecotourism and cultural contacr are emerging trends in tourism indusrty?

#ecotourism #contacr #trends #tourism #indusrty
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Without a doubt, there are several reasons why active ecotourism and cultural contact appear in the tourism industry.
Firstly
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, active ecotourism can protect the environment for the next generations, which provides a good opportunity for more people to minimize a negative impact on the environment, and
also
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more
Add a missing verb
be more
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 responsible for their nature. Through cultural contact, people can easily share and exchange their different customs and beliefs, which has a positive impact on society, like boosting the domestic economy and getting familiar with different cultures.
For example
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 one of my friends who travelled a lot told me when she was in Italy, she broadened her horizons by seeing historical culture;
as a result
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, she respected Italian culture more than before.
Submitted by yektashahryari on

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General
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why active ecotourism and cultural contact are emerging trends in the tourism industry. To improve the essay further, you could add a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
Introduction/Conclusion
Make sure to create a more defined introduction that presents the topic and your stance on it. This will help to set the context for the reader.
Structure
While your points are coherent, organizing your essay with paragraphs dedicated to each main idea would make it easier to follow. Consider using one paragraph for active ecotourism and another for cultural contact.
Supportive Details
Provide additional examples and perhaps some statistical data or studies if possible. This would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
Grammar/Clarity
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in your essay. Proofreading and revising your sentences for clarity would make your writing more polished.
Task Achievement
The essay contains clear, comprehensive ideas that exhibit your understanding of the topic. You have successfully articulated why ecotourism and cultural contact are important.
Relevant Examples
You provided a relevant and specific example about your friend’s experience in Italy, which supports your main points well.
Coherence/Cohesion
Your logical structure is quite strong. The ideas flow reasonably well from one point to another.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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