More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for every one?
Nowadays the number of people who are moving to cities to experience better conditions has enormously gone up. Despite all the difficulties in the towns, governors can take action in order to ease these circumstances
to
all the inhabitants.
Change preposition
for
In
the one hand, Change preposition
On
unfortunately
big metropolises have their own complications. Add a comma
unfortunately,
Firstly
, people living in metropolises have always been suffering from traffic congestion especially when they’re in rush
to get to work. They may stuck in traffic for hours which is really annoying. Correct article usage
a rush
Secondly
air pollution made by exhaust fumes in the city can cause irreparable Add a comma
Secondly,
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
for
both the environment and citizens pushing them to undergo some physical illnesses that can be incurable Change preposition
to
I
some situations. Correct your spelling
in
Lastly
, overpopulation would definitely lead to lack
of employment which forces individual to work extra Correct article usage
a lack
shift
in order to keep their jobs in Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
this
competitive conditions.
Correct determiner usage
these
In
the other hand, administrators can effectively take a hand by imposing some principles in the area. More budget devoted by Change preposition
On
government
to Add an article
the government
electronic
vehicle industry will undoubtedly facilitate people’s access to these transports which not only affects the environment in urban areas but Correct article usage
the electronic
also
encourage
inhabitants to choose these vehicles with renewable energy sources. Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
Moreover
, providing some platforms in order to support the young generation’s business plans would smooth the path for them and further
it can produce some job opportunities in the cities.
Add a comma
further,
To sum up
, although
moving houses from rural areas to big towns may bring some struggles, the officials can eliminate these obstacles by preparing sufficient infrastructure in the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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grammar
Ensure consistency in the use of articles (e.g., 'the towns' should be 'towns' or 'the town').
grammar
Work on eliminating some minor grammatical inconsistencies (e.g., 'they may stuck in traffic' should be 'they may get stuck in traffic').
idea development
Provide more specific examples to better support your main points. This would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence
Add transitional phrases to provide clearer connections between points, making the essay flow more naturally.
structure
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing the difficulties of living in a city and suggesting potential solutions that governments can implement.
coherence
The main points are logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.