IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#children #age #group #percentage #population #kingdom #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided line graph illustrates the proportion of kids in various types of age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of the youngsters in the
UK
Use synonyms
 over an eleven-year period. It can be clearly seen that the numbers of children under 4
years
Use synonyms
 old had a downward trend.
However
Linking Words
,the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 in the group of 10 to 14
years
Use synonyms
 old witnessed a gradual upward in England over the period. In 1990,the percentage of children aged under 4
years
Use synonyms
 old was just under %26 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.For the next two
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 amount reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
roughly %26.5 in 1992(which was the highest rate of young population over the whole year).
Similarly
Linking Words
,the number of people aged 15 to 19
years
Use synonyms
 old was approximately %26 and plummeted to nearly %23 in England in 1994.(Which was the lowest level of
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 over the whole period). Surprisingly,the number of people
in ages
Change preposition
aged
show examples
 5 to 9
years
Use synonyms
 old was roughly %25 in 1990 and It rose slightly to %26 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 1997.Next,th
e amou
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
nt of children 5-9
years
Use synonyms
 old decreased modestly and
at the end
Linking Words
 of the trend It was just over %25 in 2001.
In addition
Linking Words
,the proportion of young people from 10 to 14
was
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 to aro
und
Correct your spelling
23
 of %23 in 1990 and
then
Linking Words
 It experienced a slight rise and reached to peak at just over %26 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 2001.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: