IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Here is the extracted text from the image: WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Number of shop closures and openings 2011–2018 [Line Chart with the following data points] Closures: 2011: 6,000 2012: 6,500 2013: 7,000 2014: 6,000 2015: 4,500 2016: 500 2017: 5,000 2018: 5,000 Openings: 2011: 8,500 2012: 4,000 2013: 4,000 2014: 5,000 2015: 4,000 2016: 4,000 2017: 4,000 2018: 3,000

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Here is the extracted text from the image: WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Number of shop closures and openings 2011–2018 [Line Chart with the following data points] Closures: 2011: 6,000 2012: 6,500 2013: 7,000 2014: 6,000 2015: 4,500 2016: 500 2017: 5,000 2018: 5,000 Openings: 2011: 8,500 2012: 4,000 2013: 4,000 2014: 5,000 2015: 4,000 2016: 4,000 2017: 4,000 2018: 3,000
#minutes #shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #text #image #shop #closures #openings #[line #data #points]
The given line chart indicates the
number
 of shop closures and openings in one country during 2011 and 2018.
Overall
, the
number
 of shop openings experienced a dramatic drop in 2012
then
 showed a significant increase in 2014.
However
, the
number
 of closed shops showed a noticeable downward trend in 2015
while
 it fluctuated slightly in different years. The
number
 of new shops reached its
high
Correct word choice
apply
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peak in 2011
then
 underwent a rapid decrease from 8500 to 4000,
then
 remained unchanged for 3 years.
At the end
 of the period, the
number
 consistently fell again, ending at 3000. In comparison with the opening shops'
number
, the closures
number
 showed slight fluctuations between 2011 and 2014. A significant change appeared in 2015; it dropped sharply and reached its lowest
number
 at around 500, but jumped suddenly to over 5000 within a year. The figures remained stable
at the end
 of the period.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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