The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts depict the comparison of cosmetic
procedures
conducted on men and women
in Korea in 2004.
Looking from an overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that plastic surgery enjoyed widespread popularity among women
. By far the most common form of cosmetic procedures
for this
group, eyelid surgery and Rhinoplasty were performed ranging from 320,00 and 275,000 times respectively . the number of laser skin resurfacing procedures
accounted for 210,000 which registered the third position in the rankings. Meanwhile, breast enlargement and liposuction were considerably less common at 120,000 and 140,000 operations
Equally predictable is the fact that plastic surgery was far less popular among men.In contrast
to women
,hair transplantation was the most common cosmetic procedure.There were just 60,000 of these operations among Korean males.Numbering some 55,000 procedures
laser skin resurfacing was second for this
group.
Overall
, a
number of Correct article usage
the
procedures
on
Change preposition
for
women
is higher than the procedure on
men in Korea.Change preposition
for
Submitted by uyangad45 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words procedures, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼