Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. why do you think that is? what could be done to encourage more people to take interest in arts?

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Although

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art

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plays a crucial role in representing cultural values all over the world

but

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with the advancements in technology, science and business,the popularity of arts has declined. I believe

art

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and aesthetics should be appreciated in many aspects

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our lives. There is much that can be done to address the problem constructively. The reason why

people

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are not interested in

art

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as much as in STEM() is career prospects. Nowadays many individuals pursue that type of career which brings

for

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apply

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them

the

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welfare and financial benefits.

Moreover

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, they believe if they spend time and money on artistic activities they will not be never successful in their life. Another reason why are has not be taken appreciate is social pressure.

For example

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in my country Iran, some parents force children to become

Correct the article-noun agreement

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doctors or

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engineers. they do not consider

art

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as a real educational major

due to

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this

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, they put children on social burden. To encourage

people

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to take an interest in the arts, several measures can be taken.

First,

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schools and universities should prioritise

art

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like other fields.

For instance

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, they could set up some interactive curriculums for appreciation

art

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. Another one is that governments should allocate more funding for artistic activities

such

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as investing some grants on advertisements to raise

people

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's awareness.

Also

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art

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institutions and cultural complexes like museums can engage

people

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with

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some

acciable

Correct your spelling

acceptable

exhibitions. In conclusion, I believe

art

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is one of the important necessities in our life

although

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art

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appreciation would be neglected by some individuals with the advancement of technology these days. but by taking some measures like prioritising

art

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education, and providing more support and funding we could solve

this

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problem

sarasadeghi74Sun Jun 30 2024

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task response

Although the essay addresses all parts of the prompt, the arguments can be elaborated further. For instance, providing additional specific examples or data could strengthen your points.

task response

The ideas are generally clear and relevant, but some sentences are a bit confusing. For instance, the phrase "they will not be never successful" should be rephrased to "they will never be successful."

coherence and cohesion

The essay needs smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Try using linking words such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'consequently' for more fluidity.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.

supported main points

You attempt to offer solutions to the problem, which shows a good level of critical thinking. Your suggestions, like improving art education and governmental funding, are relevant.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Economic growth
STEM subjects
Job security
Financial success
Pragmatic
Utilitarian pursuits
Art education
Inclusive
Engaging
Contemporary society
Social issues
Environmental themes
Digital platforms
Virtual museums
Interactive art

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. why do you think that is? what could be done to encourage more people to take interest in arts?

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizen happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?