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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The flowchart presents the manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 of
cup
Use synonyms
 instant
noodles
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
process
Use synonyms
 consists of eight stages, commencing with the flour pickup processing from the
storages
Fix the agreement mistake
storage
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 and ending with packaging
noodles
Use synonyms
.
At the first stage
Linking Words
 in the
process
Use synonyms
, flour as the primary ingredient of
noodles
Use synonyms
 has to be provided from the storages. After that, the flour with water and oil must
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be mixed using machines.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all mixed components are rolled using another device and produce
dough
Use synonyms
 sheets.
Next,
Linking Words
all the sheets are
cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dough
Use synonyms
 strips and
subsequently
Linking Words
 rolled to be
dough
Use synonyms
 rolls. It
continues
Wrong verb form
continued
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 with the frying
process
Use synonyms
 of
dough
Use synonyms
 roll with oil and dried it for a moment. By
this
Linking Words
 step, raw roll
noodles
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
 ready to package.
The following step is
Linking Words
wrap-up
Correct article usage
a wrap-up
show examples
steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step
show examples
 using
Use synonyms
cup
Correct article usage
a cup
show examples
 case. The
noodles
Use synonyms
 should be packaged in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cup
Use synonyms
 with vegetables and spices for seasoning.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
cup
Use synonyms
noodle
Fix the agreement mistake
noodles
show examples
 should be labeled and sealed before they
distributed
Add a missing verb
are distributed
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 to stores.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
cup
Use synonyms
 instant
noodles
Use synonyms
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
 for sale.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, cup, noodles, dough with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Manufacturing process
  • Noodle dough
  • Steaming
  • Cutting
  • Dough sheeting
  • Molding
  • Air-drying
  • Frying
  • Seasoning
  • Quality control
  • Packaging
  • Shelf life
  • Flavoring agents
  • Texture
  • Instant meal
  • Convenience food
  • Production line
  • Consumer
  • Ingredient mixing
  • Safety standards
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