People ore surrounded by odvertising, which hos on increosing effec, on our lives. Do you think fhe posifive effecls of this oulweigh the negolive effecfs?

#people #ore #hos #effec #lives #fhe #posifive #effecls #oulweigh #negolive #effecfs

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Whether it is on TV, radio or hoardings at the side of the road,

advertisements

Use synonyms

have become a part of our lives. Advertising is a powerful and persuasive medium. I believe that the beneficial effects of

ads

Use synonyms

overpower the detrimental ones. On the positive side,

advertisements

Use synonyms

provide us with information on new products.

Correct your spelling

it were not for electronic and print advertising, many products would not be bought. ln

this

Linking Words

way, advertising provides an important service to manufacturers and some consumers.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it fuels the advertising industry, creating jobs for thousands of people.

Correct your spelling

show examples

this

Linking Words

respect it has become the backbone of many economies of the world.

Furthermore

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

touch

social

Change preposition

on social

show examples

issues.

For example

Linking Words

, when Amitabh

Bachhan

Correct your spelling

Bachchan

tells people to bring their

children

Use synonyms

for pulse polio immunization, people listen.

Then

Linking Words

, there are

ads

Use synonyms

against female foeticide which are very informative.

advertisements

Use synonyms

, sometimes we buy what tempts us without

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

insight

Change preposition

into

show examples

what we need actually.

lmpressive

Correct your spelling

impressive

images, videos, or captions are bound to leave an imprint on us.

Secondly

Linking Words

ads

Use synonyms

are very disturbing at times. Television commercials are a great example of

this

Linking Words

. Just as we are enjoying a TV program, a commercial break occurs, forcing us to listen.

Then

Linking Words

ads

Use synonyms

show dangerous stunts, which may be copied by

children

Use synonyms

and they may get hurt.

Finally

Linking Words

, some

ads

Use synonyms

target vulnerable

children

Use synonyms

and so

children

Use synonyms

pester their parents to buy things which can upset the family budget.

To conclude

Linking Words

, adverts have their advantages and disadvantages.

lndubitably

Correct your spelling

indubitably

indubitable

, the merits outstrip the demerits. The onus lies on us to look into our real needs and not be swayed by adverts.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jun 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, adding more examples and statistical data to support your arguments would make your essay stronger.

task achievement

Ensure that all paragraphs are fully developed with ideas, explanations, and examples to enhance clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

Maintain logical flow by employing consistent linking words and phrases. This helps with readability and makes your arguments more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are well-formed, make sure your conclusion more explicitly summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, contributing significantly to its overall coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the task.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as those about Amitabh Bachhan and Japanese advertising, are relevant and enhance the overall quality of your essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

326 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Your friend is planning to move to your city. Advise him to find accommodation
I am very glad to hear from you to move to our city and you asked me some advice living this place. I hope, the following advices will help you to stay here.
7
band
Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Offspring are the backbone of every country. So, there are communities who tend to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will result in flourished society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves. I, too believe that this motivation has more benefits than its drawbacks.
5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foriegn language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country.Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foriegn language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One may argue that the only motivation for learning a foreign language is solely for work purpose. On the contrary, some people argue that there are many other reasons for someone to learn a foreign language. I am personally leaning towards the later statement and I will explain it in the next following paragraphs.
8
band
As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Passing from childhood life to adult life involves significant changes in societal treatment. In this essay, I will point out some of those crucial changes, as well as the extent to which these changes are beneficial. The reasons for this are as follows.
5
band
Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is believed that larger cities have bad impact on an individual's health. This essay totally agrees with this statement because not only people in these places are busy but also bigger cities have too much pollution.

People ore surrounded by odvertising, which hos on increosing effec, on our lives. Do you think fhe posifive effecls of this oulweigh the negolive effecfs?

Your friend is planning to move to your city. Advise him to find accommodation

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foriegn language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country.Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foriegn language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.