IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter • explain why you want to leave your current job • what kind of job you are looking for • ask for some help or advice

#job #friend #help #advice
Dear John, I hope everything is all right
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 you all. It was wonderful having a
get together
Add a hyphen
get-together
show examples
last
 week with you and your wife. It helped me a lot to recharge energy
while
 enjoying the opportunity to
catched
Correct your spelling
catch
 us up and have a good
time
. Anyway, I am writing
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 I have something to share with you.
Lastely
Correct your spelling
Lastly
Lately
, It has been difficult to have free
time
 and even to have the
time
 to spend with my
famly
Correct your spelling
family
.
Therefore
 I made one of the most
momentoun
Correct your spelling
momentous
decision
Change to a plural noun
decisions
show examples
 in my life, quit my job yesterday, and
as a result
, I am looking for a new job. Because I have been working for more than twenty years in a row, I am looking for a job that brings me enough
time
 to spend with my family, so it could be a
mid
Add a hyphen
mid-time
show examples
time
 work. I know that you have been working for different companies, so It could be helpful a piece of
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 from you. Please let me know your thoughts about it. I hope to hear from you soon. Warm wishes,
Submitted by otiyog on

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task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task, but the explanation of why you want to leave your current job could be more specific. Mentioning specific issues or challenges would strengthen your response.
task achievement
There are some spelling and grammatical errors such as 'It helped me a lot to recharge energy','catched','becuase', and 'momentoun' that need to be corrected. Proofreading your text will help address these issues.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your letter into clear, distinct paragraphs that each cover a single idea. For instance, one paragraph for explaining why you are leaving, one for the type of job you want, and one for asking for advice.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which fits well with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear greeting and closing, which helps to frame your letter appropriately.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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