Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
As our world
become
seamless, nowadays it is common for several Change the verb form
becomes
people
to buy meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
throughout
Change preposition
from
the
various Correct article usage
apply
source
, Fix the agreement mistake
sources
for example
by using application
embedded Correct article usage
an application
on
Change preposition
in
smartphone
. Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
On the other hand
, there is remains
the Wrong verb form
remain
people
who believed
Wrong verb form
believe
if
Correct word choice
that
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
Add an article
a meal
the meal
meal
by our hand should bring Fix the agreement mistake
meals
the
positive effects, I believe the advantages are greater.
It is common for several Correct article usage
apply
peoples
to pick up raw Fix the agreement mistake
people
food
with the
good Correct article usage
apply
quality
or in prime conditions. In other word
, Fix the agreement mistake
words
people
tend to select the good quality
ones. Therefore
, by prepare
Change the verb form
preparing
meal
at home, Fix the agreement mistake
meals
food
the
Correct article usage
apply
quality
usually
more hygienist, since they should determine the eligibility of raw Add a missing verb
is usually
food
itself. The next reason why cooking at home should bring
Verb problem
have
positive
impact on household cash flow, Correct article usage
a positive
it
is because Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
didn’t
have to pay extra money for Wrong verb form
don’t
food
and another cost
, they only spend the money for buying Fix the agreement mistake
other costs
food
and more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
efficient
.
On the other perspective, Change the word
efficiently
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
meal
using various platforms Fix the agreement mistake
meals
it
is believed possibly could have some effect. Correct pronoun usage
apply
The
Correct article usage
First
first,
people
usually didn’t
aware Verb problem
aren’t
the
Change preposition
of the
quality
material of food
itself, they only know the final result and less information about the Correct article usage
the food
quality
of raw material food
. The processing of raw material food
into cuisine were
not able to Change the verb form
was
guarantee
, since they Wrong verb form
guaranteed
didn’t
see how the process whether using
high Wrong verb form
used
quality
,
or not. Remove the comma
apply
Lastly
, the most
disadvantage is creating more addictive and Correct word choice
biggest
gain
the probability of decreasing basic Verb problem
apply
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
on
cooking. The ability Change preposition
in
of cooking
could decrease and Change preposition
to cook
people
will not able
to preserve the specific Add a missing verb
be able
food
recipe,
since they Remove the comma
apply
didn’t
Verb problem
are not
involve
in processing the raw material.
In conclusion, I still believe that the advantage of processing Wrong verb form
involved
food
by hands
should bring it Fix the agreement mistake
hand
the
great advantage, Correct article usage
a
while
the disadvantages on
purchasing Change preposition
of
food
seems
to be more impactful.Change the verb form
seem
Submitted by dwima.rizky on
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grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to ensure clarity and accuracy. For example, 'As our world become seamless, nowadays it is common' should be 'As our world becomes more connected, nowadays it is common'.
structure
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main point. Your body paragraphs could be more clearly organized by starting with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples.
task completion
You have a good understanding of the topic and the issues around it. Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing food rather than cooking at home.
ideas
You have presented clear reasons for both perspectives, which shows your ability to think critically about the subject.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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