If countries are serious about solving traffic problems, they should tax private cars very heavily and use the money to provide free or very cheap rail travel To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the number of private vehicle owners
increase
significantly. Someone who Wrong verb form
has increased
own
Change the verb form
owns
the
private vehicle, especially a Correct article usage
a
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
they
should be classified as people with high disposable income. I fully agree that all Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
private
Add an article
the private
cars
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
requires
pay Add the particle
requires to
significant
amount of tax in order to allocate free rail travel Add an article
a significant
public
Correct word choice
and public
transportation
, especially to realize affordable
of the mass rapid train
The first reason is Correct article usage
the affordable
the
private car owners must be Correct your spelling
that
an
Correct article usage
apply
upper
Add a hyphen
upper-class
class
people with high income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
,
since Remove the comma
apply
the
private Correct article usage
apply
cars
required
Wrong verb form
require
specific
amount of Add an article
a specific
fund
for Fix the agreement mistake
funds
the
gasoline, scheduled maintenance, and Correct article usage
apply
another cost
to cover. Fix the agreement mistake
other costs
Therefore
, the upper class
undoubtedly have a lot of money within
their bank accounts. It is believed Change preposition
in
if
they should be able to pay high certain of tax for their vehicle ownership.
Another reason why Correct word choice
that
upper
Add an article
the upper
class
should pay expensive
for their private Correct word choice
more
cars
caused
Verb problem
is
by
the vehicles Change preposition
that
itself didn’t
Verb problem
aren’t
classified
as public Change the verb form
classify
transportation
who bring
the benefit for Verb problem
which
lower
Add an article
the lower
class
. The mass rapid train will bring the benefit to lower class
, which is not concentrated to several peoples
with tremendous income to enjoy the facility, Fix the agreement mistake
people
while
the private cars
only
consumed by Add a missing verb
are only
upper
Add an article
the upper
class
, the mass rapid train should be accessed by everyone and will break down the density of traffic jam.
Some people who classified
as Add a missing verb
are classified
wealthy
Add an article
a wealthy
the wealthy
person
may think Fix the agreement mistake
people
if
private Change preposition
apply
cars
the
only Add a missing verb
are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
transportation
modes with high
level of convenience and it’s beneath in their mind. Some of them probably never Add an article
a high
the high
tries
Change the verb form
try
the
public Correct article usage
apply
transportation
. As a result
, they only had private cars
as preference
to mobilize.
Add an article
a preference
the preference
To conclude
, I believe if the government succeed to govern
Change preposition
in governing
the
private Correct article usage
apply
cars
belonging
with Verb problem
apply
restrict
Replace the word
restrictive
regulation
, the public Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
transportation
modes eventually shall end the traffic problems.Submitted by dwima.rizky on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by making an argument in favor of higher taxes on private cars to fund free or cheap rail travel. However, the examples provided are too general. Incorporate more specific examples or data to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear, but the use of language needs improvement for higher clarity. For instance, 'belonging with restrict regulation' could be better phrased as 'under strict regulations.'
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Utilize more linking phrases to maintain a seamless flow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could summarize the key points more explicitly rather than just reiterating the belief in the effect of government regulation. This can help in rounding off the essay in a more impactful manner.
relevant specific examples
More specific and concrete examples would enhance the support for main points. For instance, citing a country where higher car taxes have effectively funded public transportation could make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases like 'private cars' and 'upper class.' Use synonyms or different expressions to improve readability.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the prompt and gives a clear standpoint on the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
supported main points
The essay includes several reasons and supporting points for its argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.