In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

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this

modern era,

women

are

mosly

Correct your spelling

mostly

independent and they like their freedom

instead

of getting married.

However

,it is argued by many people that

this

is because of

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

show examples

security which

women

have today.I partially agree with

this

statement and will provide my relevant examples in upcoming paragraphs. On one hand,

women

deny

Verb problem

refuse

show examples

to get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

married not just because of strong financial status but

also

they

Correct word choice

because they

show examples

do not want to allow others to

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

decisions for their lives and suppress their own identity.Take,an example,

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

females after marriage leave their jobs because of

in laws

Add a hyphen

in-laws

show examples

pressure as they do not want their daughter-in-law to continue her job and it is most common in rural areas.

Therefore

,the

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

of females

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

taken away from them.I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is

also

the relevant reason

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why they do not want someone special in their lives.

On the other hand

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system

also

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

rise to female education and because of

this

,there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

literate girls in comparison to

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

.More education means more

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

hence

more security related to money.

For instance

,A female in our neighbourhood

lives

Wrong verb form

has lived

show examples

alone

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

the past ten years and

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

able to pay all the expenses related to living

as well as

live her best life.

Thus

,it is

also

a reason that

women

because of job placements do not have

need

Add an article

a need

the need

show examples

to get

marry

Wrong verb form

married

show examples

for support. In conclusion,no doubt,

women

are capable

to live

Change preposition

of living

show examples

alone

also

,do not want anyone's interference but financial support

also

be a reason for

women

to not

Add a missing verb

be in

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of

wedding

Fix the agreement mistake

weddings

show examples

Submitted by arshrandhawa9877 on Mon Jul 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that you avoid grammatical and punctuation errors. These small mistakes can impede reading flow.

introduction conclusion present

Try to improve the introduction by providing a succinct overview of both sides of the argument. This helps set the stage for a balanced discussion in your essay.

supported main points

Ensure examples are clearly connected to your main point. Some examples in your essay are a bit vague or not fully explained.

clear comprehensive ideas

Expand the paragraph on education by discussing its broader implications on society and family dynamics, thereby deepening the analysis.

introduction conclusion present

Aim to develop a more nuanced conclusion that ties together all the main points discussed in the essay. This will provide a satisfying end to the reader.

logical structure

Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Linkers such as 'furthermore', 'additionally', or 'consequently' can help achieve this.

complete response

You have addressed the question directly and provided relevant examples which support your points.

task achievement

Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and offers a balanced viewpoint.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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With deforestration, urban development and illigal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitats and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measuers can be taken to deal with this problem.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.