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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change, other, however, think that change is always a good things. Discuss both things and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
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There are competing views on whether to make changes in life.
Although
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change
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 always involves
risks
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, I still think that it is always good to make changes because, in the
lang
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long
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 run,
people
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wil
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will
 gain more from the changes they
made
Wrong verb form
make
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 than they lose.
People
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 who resist
change
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 may be too afraid of the
risks
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 involved. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, those who choose to stay in
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an alow-paying
the alow-paying
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alow-paying
Correct your spelling
a low-paying
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 job they hate. They may fear that if they resign, they may be unable to find a new one.
However
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, I do not think maintaining the status quo can help them avoid
risks
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. Sooner or later, they will
lase
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lose
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 their low-level jobs to automation. In fact, as the billionaire entrepreneur Peter Thiel said, "
in
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In
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 a world that's changing so quickly, the biggest risk you can take is not taking any risk." Others,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, argue that
change
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 is always a good thing because it is the only way to succeed in the long run. If
super successful
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super-successful
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people
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 and organizations are examined, it will be found that they all have one thing in common: They keep trying new things. They are willing to experiment and fail a lot in order to innovate.
This
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 may have downsides in the short term but allows them to remain relevant and competitive over longer periods of time. I agree with
this
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 argument because if a person is stagnant for the sake of short-term comfort, they will be guaranteed to fail in the longer term. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 a shift in direction comes with
risks
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, in the long
run
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run,
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people
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 will benefit from the shift they made.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
change
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 is always a good thing when thinking
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments and make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to add more transitions between your ideas to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported and the essay stays relevant to the topic throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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