Many people believe that film is a less important art than other forms such as literature and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many are of the opinion that movies are an insignificant
art
rather than other types
such
as
literature
and painting, considering that these types of
art
unleash respective creativity through openness to interpretation of diverse
works
.
However
, I am largely in agreement with
this
perspective as
films
can provide more tangible benefits to
people
through the utilization of diverse subsidiary effects. Proponents often highlight advantages that
people
can gain through non-visual arts
such
as painting pictures and
literature
including poetry and novels. These types of
art
can stimulate individual imagination and creativity, as they can fully appreciate the masterpieces and
literature
without any artificial effects, which
films
characterize,
such
as grand sound effects, diverse visual presentation, and additional explanation. These characteristics of traditional
art
encourage individuals to freely interpret the intention of painters and authors and to accept diverse
works
based on their own perspectives.
However
,
films
hinder the change that
people
are enough to conceive because producers decide on background sound matched with the movie genre in advance and cast actors based on the intended purposes,
while
these non-visual arts can provide unlimited possibilities for thoughts and opinions about
works
, empowering autonomy for appreciation to viewers and readers.
Hence
, these forms of
art
are more of the essence as they induce
people
to experience self-directed appreciation. Despite of aforementioned advantages of
literature
and painting,
films
have their own values , unlike original
art
by assisting viewers’ understanding of what they cannot imagine ever before,
such
as scientific movies. Movies often provide visual presentations about the
stories
through 3D editing skills, actual film places, and actors with well-matched garments,
while
these secondary factors except for
stories
help views provoke more widely.
For example
, Interstellar, a renowned famous sci-fi film, covered a high-dimension world that explains the dynamic of time and universe,
while
the
stories
were difficult to fully understand if the story
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
released only in books. State-of-the-
art
3D visual skills and exceptional acting make viewers immerse themselves in the
stories
and comprehend better than traditional
art
means. In conclusion,
while
it is undeniably true that non-visual
art
offers a great
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of opportunities for
people
to entirely appreciate
works
on their own, the benefits that
films
offer cannot be overlooked as they help viewers better understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult
stories
and deeply resonate with
stories
.
Submitted by uzookim on

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coherence cohesion
While you have structured your introduction and conclusion well, it is important to make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Adding some linking phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure to reduce the number of repeated ideas. Some sentences are a bit long and could be clearer if broken down.
task achievement
You have presented a clear response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, ensure that your ideas are expressed more clearly. Simplifying complex sentences can help achieve this.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and punctuation to enhance clarity. For example, 'Despite of advantages' should be 'Despite the advantages'.
supported main points
Your essay presents well-supported main points, particularly regarding the advantages of film and traditional art forms.
introduction conclusion present
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your main arguments, making your stance clear.
relevant specific examples
The examples you provided, such as the scientific movie 'Interstellar', are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic
  • artistic expression
  • cultural significance
  • historical context
  • impactful
  • literary works
  • masterpiece
  • medium (e.g., medium of film)
  • narrative techniques
  • painting styles
  • pedagogical
  • perception
  • profound
  • technological advancement
  • visual storytelling
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