IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should How the Unemployed Spend their Time, UK, last year

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should How the Unemployed Spend their Time, UK, last year
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The table shows what activities
did
Wrong verb form
are done
show examples
 in the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
 by the unemployed, broken down by
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
. It is
clear
Change the adjective
clearly
show examples
 seen that, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are more active in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
 than in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
, they choose relaxing activities than in the morning, In the morning, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 did not
drinking
Change the verb form
drink
show examples
, only 1% of
women
Use synonyms
 and 2% of
men
Use synonyms
 did
this
Linking Words
 activity,
while
Linking Words
 most of
Use synonyms
women
Add an article
the women
show examples
 did housework by 49% and
men
Use synonyms
 did job hunting by 22%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is interesting that in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 did a lot of things,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 gardening for 14%
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
, watching a
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 for 13%, visiting friends and job hunting together contribute by 12%
men
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 most of
women
Use synonyms
, 21% still do their housework.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 table shows disparities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 unemployment
do
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 their time with
men
Use synonyms
 have more variance activities than
women
Use synonyms
, both in the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words afternoon, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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