some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others thiink other media is better

It is not
secret
Correct article usage
a secret
show examples
that technologies riched their advancement.Down the
road
Add a comma
road,
show examples
newspapers or
books
are not purchased by most
people
around the world,
due to
the fact that humans prefer to read online newspapers or online
books
without paying for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.In
this
essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
why I totally agree with
this
opinion.
To begin
,it must be said that technology
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
really convenient for our lives
therefore
news on social media
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can be better in terms of the speed of information being reported to the reader.
Additionally
,
people
who used to get information from media do not need to pay for selling newspapers with the
door to door
Add a hyphen
door-to-door
show examples
service.
Also
,
people
with devices
such
as smartphones
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can get to the news storage with just a few clicks.
However
,there are some
people
who agree with
this
view and some exact purposes.
For instance
,some
books
which were written in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient times ago would be difficult to find printed versions
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
days.In
this
situation,online
books
come to help us.Humans do not bother to go outside,to search
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
books
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
libraries or bookshops.Reading online is much better rather than printed
books
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
some days.
Also
,there
other
Add a missing verb
are other
show examples
benefits like,citizens can read online
books
anytime and anywhere.
To conclude
from the reasons mentioned above ,
although
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
books
offer a lot of benefits,I would remain my agreement that online
books
are better because of the reasons mentioned before
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
To enhance coherence, try using more connective phrases to link your ideas smoothly. This will help guide the reader through your argument and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to incorporate specific examples or data to support your points more convincingly. This can make your argument stronger and more compelling.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Small inaccuracies can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
logical structure
The main points are logically structured and include relevant information, making the essay easy to understand.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and takes a clear stance, which is well-explained in the introduction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: