Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that the younger generation
do
not understand Change the verb form
does
the
practical work and schools should arrange field works accompanied by academic studies. In my opinion, institutions at any level of Correct article usage
apply
students
development should implement hands-on activities to adapt them to the future reality, to foster their hard and soft Change the noun form
student
skills
in harmony, and to give the
freedom of choice to start their career earlier.
With the advent of new technology, more and more educators and scientists come up with modern teaching methods and instruments like cognitive education, project-based methods or active learning. Correct pronoun usage
them the
Moreover
, their inventions give opportunities for educational bodies all over the world to improve students
results and focus more on their career development. Change noun form
students'
student's
For example
, in Kazan, ISL boarding school
implemented project-based
system with the elements of Add an article
the project-based
a project-based
real life
implications. Add a hyphen
real-life
As a result
, their pupils enhanced academic
foundations and levelled up Correct pronoun usage
their academic
communication
and critical thinking Correct pronoun usage
their communication
skills
throughout this
program.
Futhermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
the
cutting-edge technologies give Correct article usage
apply
opportunity
to learn more professional Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
skills
with a
click of a button and adapt them Correct article usage
the
in
a daily basis. Institutions can be transformed with the help of educational platforms like Coursera and Udemy which are open to the youth with Change preposition
on
a
reasonable prices and flexible deadlines. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, one public school
in Moscow, in 2016, bought yearly subscriptions for the
middle and high Correct article usage
apply
school
students
, encouraging them to accomplish at least one desired course. This
improvement was a life-changing moment for three Year 11 students
whose team application won in a start-up competition and they were invited to work as Junior Developers after school
.
In conclusion, in our modern world educational institutions should be more open-minded and flexible to implement alternative teaching methods and integrate into their curriculum more practice rather than theory. In my opinion, schools should take advantage of technologies
as well, teaching Fix the agreement mistake
technology
the
youngsters how to use Correct article usage
apply
them
effectively and learn quickly new life-long Correct pronoun usage
it
skills
.Submitted by gainutdin87 on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more balanced argument, considering opposing views to strengthen the position taken.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs logically flow from one to another; some transitions can be smoother.
general
Minor grammatical improvements and varied sentence structures could enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples that support the main points effectively, like the Kazan ISL boarding school and the public school in Moscow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong opening and closing to the essay.
task achievement
The ideas presented are generally clear and easy to understand, with cohesive links between sentences and paragraphs.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite