Some people say that the educational success of a student is the result of the work of a good teacher. Others say it depends on the character of the student. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Few individuals argue that teacher is
a
Correct article usage
the
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reason behind the educational success of pupils.
While
other argue that
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
character is behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational success.
This
essay believes that the success of pupils is because of their
mentor
Fix the agreement mistake
mentors
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because teachers are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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who can understand and provide feedback based on the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
performance. On the one hand,
Submitted by prajapativishal9328 on

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task achievement
The essay currently has an incomplete introduction. Ensure that both views are clearly introduced along with your opinion at the end of the introduction. This provides a clear roadmap for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Avoid ending a paragraph with 'On the one hand,'. Each paragraph should be fully developed with complete ideas before moving on to the next point or paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is structured in clear paragraphs, each with its own main idea and supporting details. For instance, use one paragraph to discuss the role of teachers and another to discuss the character of the student. A final paragraph should reinforce your conclusion and opinion.
task achievement
The essay begins with an attempt to discuss both views on the topic, which is a good start and indicates an effort to engage with the essay question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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