Many people believe that playing games and tv programs is beneficial but others say it doesnt improve the mental ability of children . What extend do you agree or disagree.
Playing
games
and tv
programs are the most two Correct your spelling
TV
activities
popular around the world. Many people believe that these activities
are beneficial but others have a contrast
opinion, they are not Replace the word
contrasting
develope
the mental ability of Correct your spelling
developed
develop
developing
children
. I extend to that opinion which said: playing games
and watching tv is useful for children
thinking.
There are many type
of Change to a plural noun
types
games
that depend on mental improvement such
as puzzle
, Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles
draw
boxes, Wrong verb form
drawing
build
Wrong verb form
building
wordsand
Correct your spelling
words
hiden
shaps. All of these Correct your spelling
hidden
games
are a
cognitive development, Remove the article
apply
forthermore
they can affect on educational level, they might improve problem-solving skills especially Correct your spelling
furthermore
awarness
and analytical thinking. Correct your spelling
awareness
In
addition
some Add a comma
addition,
of
multiplayer online Change preposition
apply
games
require communication and teamwork, increasing children
's social abilities. These activities
enhance creativity boosts, stimulate
imagination and interactive content. Correct word choice
and stimulate
Although
they relief stressful
, in some cases serve as Replace the word
relieve stress
form
of relaxation, reducing anxiety and providing a mental break for Add an article
a form
children
. But on the other
hand
too much screen time can lead to reduce physical activity, eye strain, and negative impacts on sleep patterns and Add a comma
hand,
overall
health.
In conclusion, I have to say even
if there are many negative effects on physical Correct word choice
that even
activities
and children
's body health, there are a lot of benifits
for Correct your spelling
benefits
thier
mental. So we can Correct your spelling
their
descided
how much and Correct your spelling
decide
decided
long
our Rephrase
how long
children
would be used
Wrong verb form
using
games
and tv
programs.Correct your spelling
TV
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This would make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them into clear paragraphs. For example, clearly separating the benefits and drawbacks will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Some sentences are hard to understand due to awkward phrasing. Simplifying your language will help make your argument clearer.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to make your essay more polished.
task achievement
You have a clearly stated opinion, which helps with the overall clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You've acknowledged both the positive and negative aspects of games and TV programs, demonstrating a balanced view.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite