Many people believe that playing games and tv programs is beneficial but others say it doesnt improve the mental ability of children . What extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #games #tv #programs #doesnt #ability #children

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Playing

games

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and

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show examples

programs are the most two

activities

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popular around the world. Many people believe that these

activities

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are beneficial but others have a

contrast

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contrasting

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opinion, they are not

develope

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developed

develop

developing

the mental ability of

children

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. I extend to that opinion which said: playing

games

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and watching tv is useful for

children

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thinking. There are many

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

games

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that depend on mental improvement

such

Linking Words

puzzle

Fix the agreement mistake

puzzles

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draw

Wrong verb form

drawing

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boxes,

build

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building

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wordsand

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words

hiden

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hidden

shaps. All of these

games

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are

Remove the article

apply

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cognitive development,

forthermore

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furthermore

they can affect on educational level, they might improve problem-solving skills especially

awarness

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awareness

and analytical thinking.

Linking Words

addition

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addition,

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some

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apply

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multiplayer online

games

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require communication and teamwork, increasing

children

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's social abilities. These

activities

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enhance creativity boosts,

stimulate

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and stimulate

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imagination and interactive content.

Although

Linking Words

they

relief stressful

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relieve stress

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, in some cases serve as

form

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a form

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of relaxation, reducing anxiety and providing a mental break for

children

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. But

on the other

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hand

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hand,

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too much screen time can lead to reduce physical activity, eye strain, and negative impacts on sleep patterns and

overall

Linking Words

health. In conclusion, I have to say

even

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that even

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if there are many negative effects on physical

activities

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and

children

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's body health, there are a lot of

benifits

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benefits

for

thier

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their

mental. So we can

descided

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decide

decided

how much and

long

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how long

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our

children

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would be

used

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

games

Use synonyms

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

programs.

Submitted by zr.a.r on Tue Jul 02 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This would make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them into clear paragraphs. For example, clearly separating the benefits and drawbacks will make your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

Some sentences are hard to understand due to awkward phrasing. Simplifying your language will help make your argument clearer.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to make your essay more polished.

task achievement

You have a clearly stated opinion, which helps with the overall clarity of your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good structure to your essay.

task achievement

You've acknowledged both the positive and negative aspects of games and TV programs, demonstrating a balanced view.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

217 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
problem-solving skills
spatial awareness
analytical thinking
multiplayer games
social abilities
imagination
creativity
interactive content
stress relief
relaxation
anxiety
screen time
physical activity
eye strain
sleep patterns
educational value

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Many people believe that playing games and tv programs is beneficial but others say it doesnt improve the mental ability of children . What extend do you agree or disagree.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some are of the opinion that children below the age of 12 shouldn’t be allowed to have a mobile phone. Others believe that mobile phones are a useful tool for children of all ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the increasing prevalence of fast food is having a negative impact on public health. What are the causes of this trend, and what measures can be taken to combat it?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.