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Band 5.5

The charts compare the proportion of male and female students in various age groups who were engaged in full-time and part-time education in Australia in 2006.

The charts compare the proportion of male and female students in various age groups who were engaged in full-time and part-time education in Australia in 2006.
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Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly indicated that in both genders, the figure for 20-24 aged
students
Use synonyms
 engaging in full-time and part-time
education
Use synonyms
 was the highest.
Additionally
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, it is
also
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 worth mentioning that
while
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 part-time
education
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 was more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for all
categories
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, the reverse was true for
students
Use synonyms
 aged 30 and above in both genders. Regarding the percentages of male and female
students
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 studying part-time
education
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 in Australia, the highest percentage was seen among
students
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 aged 20-24 participating in part-time
education
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; the percentage was responsible for 40%  for male
students
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,
whereas
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 that of female
students
Use synonyms
 was 2% more than their male counterparts.
Moreover
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, the percentages of male and female
students
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 aged 15-19 were 12% and 17% respectively,
while
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 the percentages of other
categories
Use synonyms
 were made up fewer than 10%. When it comes to proportions of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 studying full-time
education
Use synonyms
 in Australia, the highest figure was seen among
students
Use synonyms
 aged 20-24 attending full-time
education
Use synonyms
; the proportion was made up 12%  for male
students
Use synonyms
,
whereas
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 that of female
students
Use synonyms
 was 1% more than their male counterparts.
Furthermore
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, the proportions of
students
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 aged 30 and above were close to that of
students
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 aged 20-24, and were lower 1-2%, in both gender
categories
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.
Lastly
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, the proportions of other
categories
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 were responsible for fewer than 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, education, categories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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