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Band 5.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given plans indicate the layout of the university's
sports
centre
 at present and in the future after redevelopment.
Overall
, the university's
sports
centre
 will undergo a significant change. Now, the
sports
centre
 has a poor one with the reception on the south, seating on the east, the gym on the north and the changing room on the west.
In addition
, two outdoors are on the left and right of the pool. After refurbishment, the pool, the changing room, the seating and the reception will not have changes. The gym will be expanded to the right.
However
, outdoor courts will be removed,
then
 a
sports
 hall will be built next to the
sports
 hall.
Moreover
, adjacent to the
sports
 hall, people will construct a couple of dance studios.
Besides
, a leisure pool will be added next to the changing room.
Next,
two new changing rooms will appear on the southeast and southwest of the
centre
 and a
sports
 shop and a cafe will be
also
 added adjoining them.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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task achievement
You have effectively summarized the main features and significant changes in the university's sports centre layout after redevelopment. To enhance your response further, you could elaborate more on the changes to ensure your description is comprehensive. For example, mention if there are any changes in the reception area or if it's significant that the pool remains unchanged.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, and your ideas are easy to follow. However, you could improve by including a brief conclusion to summarize your findings or implications of the changes.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows well into the next. Using linking words and phrases could improve the cohesion of your essay. For instance, words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in addition' can link sentences better.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and reported the main features and differences between the current and future layout of the sports centre.
task achievement
Your writing is clear, and the main ideas are easy to understand, maintaining focus on the topic throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have maintained a good logical structure. The use of paragraphs to separate different parts of the sports centre is well done.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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