Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Othe people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion
I agree that
History
is one of the important subjects in school because its presence could increase sense
of Add an article
the sense
a sense
children
's patriotism feeling
toward their Verb problem
apply
country
.
In my opinion, in this
modern life, parents tend to lead their child
to be Fix the agreement mistake
children
a
Correct article usage
apply
scientist
or Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
accountant
since most of the Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
high salary
jobs lately are related to science and economics. In terms of fulfilling the urge to get into Add a hyphen
high-salary
this
kind of opportunities
, many young generations Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
focus pursue
their career since they were in elementary school. Wrong verb form
have focused on pursuing
Thus
, they tend to abandon some courses that seem unimportant to them and force themselves to reach the highest grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
at
science and Change preposition
in
economic
.
Replace the word
economics
For example
, in Indonesia
many Add a comma
Indonesia,
children
who are raised in a good education family will send their children
to get an additional course out of their school to enhance their science capability. They will be pleased paying a higher rate for the additional course rather than buying some books to enrich their knowledge about history
. Furthermore
, most of the course does not provide any lessons about history
.
In my opinion, there are a lot of ways to keep the young generations to feel
longing Verb problem
apply
about
the Change preposition
for
history
in
their Change preposition
of
country
. For example
, parents should teach their children
since a
Correct pronoun usage
they a
kid
by showing them many historical objects in the Fix the agreement mistake
kids
country
and telling them the importance of history
in their life. Thus
, they will feel the curiosity and it will grow their interest about
another historical story in their Change preposition
in
country
.
In conclusion, by
leaving Change preposition
apply
history
behind and over
pursuing other subjects is not a good choice but try to keep anything in balance.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by rose on
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general
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points of both perspectives. This will help the reader understand the scope of the essay right from the beginning.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. For example, the segment discussing the importance of history could be separated more clearly from the discussion on the importance of science and technology.
cohesion
Use linking words more frequently to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'however,' 'on the other hand,' and 'furthermore' can improve cohesion.
conclusion
Expand on your conclusion to reinforce your main arguments and provide a balanced summary of both viewpoints. Restate why history should not be neglected even if other subjects seem more immediately lucrative.
examples
The essay contains relevant examples that add authenticity to your arguments, such as the example of additional courses in Indonesia. This helps in demonstrating a real-world application of your points.
clarity
Your opinion is clear and well-expressed, making it easy for the reader to understand your stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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