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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Othe people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology #points
I agree that
History
 is one of the important subjects in school because its presence could increase
sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense
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 of
children
's patriotism
feeling
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apply
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toward their
country
. In my opinion, in
this
 modern life, parents tend to lead their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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scientist
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scientists
show examples
 or
accountant
Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
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 since most of the
high salary
Add a hyphen
high-salary
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 jobs lately are related to science and economics. In terms of fulfilling the urge to get into
this
 kind of
opportunities
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opportunity
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, many young generations
focus pursue
Wrong verb form
have focused on pursuing
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 their career since they were in elementary school.
Thus
, they tend to abandon some courses that seem unimportant to them and force themselves to reach the highest
grade
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grades
show examples
at
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in
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 science and
economic
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economics
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.
For example
, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
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 many
children
 who are raised in a good education family will send their
children
 to get an additional course out of their school to enhance their science capability. They will be pleased paying a higher rate for the additional course rather than buying some books to enrich their knowledge about
history
.
Furthermore
, most of the course does not provide any lessons about
history
. In my opinion, there are a lot of ways to keep the young generations
to feel
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apply
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longing
about
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for
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 the
history
in
Change preposition
of
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 their
country
.
For example
, parents should teach their
children
 since
a
Correct pronoun usage
they a
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kid
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kids
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 by showing them many historical objects in the
country
 and telling them the importance of
history
 in their life.
Thus
, they will feel the curiosity and it will grow their interest
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 another historical story in their
country
. In conclusion,
by
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apply
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leaving
history
 behind and
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pursuing other subjects is not a good choice but try to keep anything in balance.
Submitted by rose on

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general
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points of both perspectives. This will help the reader understand the scope of the essay right from the beginning.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. For example, the segment discussing the importance of history could be separated more clearly from the discussion on the importance of science and technology.
cohesion
Use linking words more frequently to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'however,' 'on the other hand,' and 'furthermore' can improve cohesion.
conclusion
Expand on your conclusion to reinforce your main arguments and provide a balanced summary of both viewpoints. Restate why history should not be neglected even if other subjects seem more immediately lucrative.
examples
The essay contains relevant examples that add authenticity to your arguments, such as the example of additional courses in Indonesia. This helps in demonstrating a real-world application of your points.
clarity
Your opinion is clear and well-expressed, making it easy for the reader to understand your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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