In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?
Modern
individuals
are different from those in years ago in choosing career
. Add an article
a career
People
used to focus on one specific vocation. Nowadays, there is a tendency that
citizens usually participate in part-time Correct word choice
for
job
. In Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
this
essay, I will explain the reasons and state the pros and cons of this
phenomenon.
Firstly
, people
can have various jobs
because they are more well-equipped with knowledge rather than ones in the past. This
results from the cover of compulsory education. For example
, a person graduated
from primary school who can read and write, Correct pronoun usage
who graduated
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
or
Correct word choice
apply
she
can apply for courses and diplomas in universities, resulting in his or her multiple choice Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
Change preposition
apply
careers
. Another reason is that Fix the agreement mistake
career
global
economy is more Correct article usage
the global
properous
than it Correct your spelling
prosperous
in
the past, so there Add a missing verb
was in
is
more Correct subject-verb agreement
are
vacancy
for Fix the agreement mistake
vacancies
individuals
to fill in
. Change preposition
apply
This
results in citizens can work
as IT technicians and electronic Wrong verb form
working
chips
engineers. These positions do not exist in the past.
Fix the agreement mistake
chip
Secondly
, as for individuals
, the advantage is that they can have more income through part-time jobs
. For instance
, they can use spare
time to do a Correct pronoun usage
their spare
job
on the internet, such
as teaching English online. Another advantage is that, as for society, citizens can enjoy more products and services because more jobs
are done. For example
, many nations entertain online by the perform
Replace the word
performances
showed
by Change the form of the verb
shown
people
who are talented in singing. On the other hand
, the disadvantages
for Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
people
who do part-time jobs
are
that they are exhausted because of these part-time Correct subject-verb agreement
is
jobs
. Another disadvantage is that they do not have enough time focusing
on their major Change the verb form
to focus
job
, which lead
to strained development in their main career.
In conclusion, I would like to recommend Change the verb form
leads
to take
on several Change the verb form
taking
jobs
, which is good for personal
finance situation. Correct pronoun usage
your personal
However
, when individuals
are too exhausted to do part-time job
, they should cut their second Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
job
off and focus on their main job
.Submitted by shaobo_xu on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task requirements, providing reasons for the shift towards multiple jobs and discussing both advantages and disadvantages. To improve, ensure that each point is clearly and comprehensively developed with more specific examples. Consider providing a balanced view with equal weight to the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be enhanced by using more linking phrases and transition words. Cohesion within paragraphs can be improved by ensuring each sentence logically follows the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea. For instance, separate your ideas about why people have multiple jobs from the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. This would improve coherence and allow for a clearer, more logical organization.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and specify the contexts. When mentioning examples, ensure they are relevant and specific. Avoid vague statements such as 'global economy is more prosperous,' and provide more concrete explanations.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers the reasons for people having multiple jobs and lists the advantages and disadvantages, showing a good grasp of the question.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical, and paragraph breaks are used correctly to separate different ideas, aiding readability and coherence.