Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, international sporting
events
, such
as the Olympics, are becoming more and more mundane events
. In fact, some people think that these events
are the right opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nations while
others believe that they are a massive unjustifiable expense.
To begin
with, international sporting events
require many expenses such
as commercials, staff, players and locations. For example
, Athens was rebuilt when it hosted the Olympic games, bringing numerous advantages to the citizens. For istance
, new hotels were built in order to host watchers and so, citizens found more Correct your spelling
instance
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
oportunities
. By building and improving the city, Greece was able to show the world many qualities. Correct your spelling
opportunities
Moreover
, this
brought to the nation a great number of tourists which contributed to a rise in economy
.
Add an article
the economy
On the other hand
, some people believe that these events
are a large unjustifiable expense. For example
, lights, fireworks and extravagant costumes are used in opening ceremonies. Thus
, a great amount of money are
spent on unnecessary things.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that sporting Change the verb form
is
events
are a great opportunity to show the qualities and resources of the hosting nations. I also
believe that a lot of money could be saved instead
of wasted on useless things and should be donated.Submitted by chi63hi
on
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task achievement
Your essay needs clearer development of ideas. Try to ensure each paragraph contains one main idea that is fully expanded upon with detailed examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the counter-arguments to give a balanced view. This would strengthen your response overall.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument well.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, making your argument more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?